There’s No Place Like Home by Kerry McCarthy
As the founder of Working Well Counselling in Sydney, Kerry McCarthy is a counsellor and psychotherapist who specialises in supporting women as they navigate challenges and life transitions. Her expertise covers everything from parenting and relationship problems to career shifts and health issues.
Kerry provides practical, supportive strategies to help make the hard times we all face feel a little easier. Find Kerry at workingwellcounselling.com
It’s not easy saying goodbye to what was meant to be your ‘forever’ home – there are many emotions to move through. Here’s how to get ready to move into a brand new life.
When selling her family home after her marriage ended, Michelle, 51, from Sydney, found that it wasn’t the house itself, or even the furniture and keepsakes within it, that was the saddest thing to let go of.
“We were in the house for 15 years so there was a lot of stuff, but it was the emotional part that was the toughest. This was the house I brought my babies home to and the only home they had ever known. It was the memories that were in the walls that were the hardest to leave behind.”
Kerry McCarthy from Working Well counselling in Sydney explains, “Deciding to sell the home you once thought you’d never leave can be one of the toughest parts of moving into a new stage of life.
“Whether the move is simply to downsize after your kids fly the nest, or it’s an essential part of splitting assets, saying goodbye isn’t easy.
“From practical considerations to the more heart-wrenching parts of moving on, being prepared for what’s to come can make the change a little easier,” she says.
Finding the Right Agent
“Finding the right selling agent is essential, especially when there are feelings involved,” says Elicia Murray, property partner at The Agency Real Estate in Sydney.
“Your real estate agent is going to be your partner in a process that can last months, from preparing the home for sale to handing over the keys. Some weeks, you’ll speak to your agent more than your bestie. It’s important to choose someone who leads with empathy and understanding.
“This doesn’t mean sacrificing the sale price. It means choosing someone who knows the market, can negotiate hard and communicates with clarity and sensitivity. Someone who has your best interests at heart.”
When you’re looking for the right agent, consider what you might be asking them to do above and beyond simply selling your house. “Plenty of agents are smooth talkers, but it’s important to look for an agent who’s a great listener,” says Elicia. “If the sale is part of a difficult separation, you’ll want an agent who can communicate effectively with everyone, including family lawyers if necessary.”
While most sellers will go with the highest bidder, others want to ensure their former home goes to a buyer who will love it just as much they did – and that’s a line your agent should respect. “I’ve worked with vendors who have a preferred buyer, even if they aren’t offering the highest price. I respect their decision – it’s their home and their choice.”
Start to Declutter
If downsizing, it’s time to say farewell to the bits and bobs. Years of stuffing drawers and cupboards with “just in case” junk can result in a mountain of stuff we no longer have space for.
Your first consideration could be how much space you’ll have in your new home. If you have half the square footage, it makes sense that half your current belongings simply aren’t going to fit.
Some things will be easy to toss or donate, while others will feel impossible to say goodbye to. Take a leaf out of organisational guru Marie Kondo’s book and ask yourself what still sparks joy for you when you’re weighing up what to keep. And, if your “keep” pile is towering over your “toss” pile, call in some reinforcements. Friends who have no emotional attachment to the task can be helpful.
If despite your best efforts, you still have more than you can realistically keep, consider a short-term storage option. This can give you the time you might need to adjust to letting go. Chances are, in time, you’ll wonder why you kept anything you’ve squirrelled away.
Take Time to Say Goodbye
From children’s birthdays to Christmas celebrations, the memories we have of happy times are precious. It’s normal to feel a huge sense of loss as you leave the place where so many of your important life moments took place.
“It wasn’t the physical things that were hard, I took them with me. The door architrave where we marked the kids’ heights as they grew – that’s in the new house now,” says Michelle.
“But I’m a sentimental soul and the day we left the old house was harder than I expected because I thought I’d made my peace with it. The kids and I walked around the house saying goodbye to the rooms and all our memories.”
Move Out & Move On
Living in a new place can feel alien at first and it can take time to feel at home. It can help to embrace your new surroundings and start to make new memories from day one.
“I was incredibly emotional the day that the removalists came, but I was also incredibly lucky that I had the most wonderful group of friends help me unpack and sort out everything in the new house.
“That was so special and made a difficult day a new wonderful memory of its own,” says Michelle.
Life 3.0: Your Next Chapter Lived Beautifully by Janine Donovan
The Busy Goodbye
Last month, I shared how Life 3.0 was born. But before I could embrace a new beginning, I first had to get the house I’d raised my family in ready to sell and, in doing so, say goodbye to the life I’d spent so many years building.
Looking back, I realise I barely had time to stop and think because I was so busy preparing for what came next. There was always another room to paint, another cupboard to empty and another decision to make. I offered to paint the house myself so it wouldn’t become another expense for my ex-husband. At the time, it simply felt like the practical thing to do. Looking back now, I realise it almost became a kind of penance for choosing my freedom.
Every brushstroke became a quiet goodbye to the home I had imagined growing old in. Every cupboard I emptied held years of family life, laughter and memories. Without even realising it, I was slowly packing away one chapter before I was ready to begin another.
I filled the house with music while I painted, danced from room to room and let whatever emotions surfaced simply be. What I came to realise was the work itself of preparing my home for sale also became part of saying goodbye.
The Quiet After the Chaos
After the house was sold and my family had moved out, I remember being hit by an unexpected emptiness. Suddenly there was a gap – an undeniable space between the woman I had been within those walls and the woman I was yet to become once I was free of them.
A Home No Longer Mine
Although I was still living there, the house no longer felt like mine. It had become someone else’s future dream. My furniture still surrounded me, but everything felt temporary. The cupboards were mostly bare and the energy of 14 years of family life – the laughter, routines and beautiful daily chaos – had quietly disappeared.
Follow along on Instagram @womansdayaus
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Share this post