We've already seen the train wreck that was Bachelor in Paradise season 2, so it's no wonder that we're quite certain that love is well and truly dead.
Because hell, if these genetically blessed 20-30 somethings can't make it - then seriously, is there any hope for the rest of us?
Do you know one of the Bachelor in Paradise contestants or have a tip-off? Email us at NowToLoveTips@bauerxcelmedia.com.au
And now that we know not even ONE couple made it past those wooden gates of Fiji, we turn back time and look at season 1.
Unfortunately, BIP'S strike rate is absolutely horrendous and Keira Maguire and Jarrod Woodgate were the only ones left standing...but for how long?
Spoiler alert: Not long. They're definitely over!
Ah, Keira and Jarrod. The on-and-off couple can be so hard to keep up with, but it's with heavy hearts that we announce that they've broken up...again. We think.
The couple were one of BIP's most unlikely pairings - especially because we thought Jarrod would NEVER get over Sophie Monk - but alas, they were inseparable. The pair posted cute couple photos non-stop as well as ooey gooey loved-up messages on each other's social media accounts.
But in August last year, they suddenly split, with Jarrod reportedly dumping Keira via text. Brutal!
"I'm sorry if anyone is disappointed or I have let anyone down," a heartbroken Keira wrote on Instagram at the time, adding, "Please respect our privacy as this is a very hard time for me".
Jarrod explained that the very public nature of their relationship eventually took its toll on the couple.
"Her Instagram following is overwhelming and it was taking over our relationship," he told NW in September.
"Keira is a beautiful woman and I had the best times I've had in my life with her. But I didn't see it going anywhere. For me, it wasn't a genuine connection because everything we did went through Instagram, and I'm a farm guy who hardly touches his phone."
But then, in a shocking twist, just after New Years Eve, Keira revealed in a gushy Instagram post that the pair were back on!
And while it seemed things were working out for the pair (this time, Keira stayed put in Melbourne city while Jarrod on his vin-yard in Gippsland), it seems that what was once broken could no longer be mended, and the pair have called it quits... again.
After some serious Insta-stalking, ahem, investigating, we are assuming that the pair are no longer.
In fact, it may have been over for more than a month now.
The last time either of them posted a photo together was at the end of April, and while Keira's feed is usually FLOODED with posts of the pair - there are none in sight.
Keira has also had a 33rd birthday during this time and unusually, Jarrod posted no gushy, loved up Happy Birthday. Yup, just radio silence.
Hmmm... Keira has been looking absolutely bangin' as of late - is this a revenge bod we see?
And then there is the mystery of the old "Insta following". It seems that both Keira and Jarrod have unfollowed each other on the social media platform - very odd behaviour for a couple who are still attached...
So that's it then. Love is dead and love is a lie. It's all over.
Now we wait with baited breath for Keira to put up a sappy love letter to her ex and admit the conscious uncoupling.
But until then, we'll just hold on to Paradise...
Megan and Jake are another on-and-off again couple who first found love on Bachelor in Paradise last year.
They dated for a few months before calling it quits last August, and were brutally honest about exactly what went wrong.
In a series of heartfelt Instagram posts, the pair revealed they had been struggling for a while and just couldn't make it work.
"Jake is easily the biggest-hearted man I've ever met, and I'd be lying if I said this break-up has been anything but destroying," Megan wrote on her Instagram stories at the time.
While Jake responded with this gorgeous message: "This is the post that I thought and hoped I would never ever have to write. Megan and I are sadly taking a break from our relationship together and words will never express the heartbreak I'm feeling right now. No matter what you believe, our relationship was as real and beautiful as they come, I love her wholeheartedly. Megan is and always will be the best part of me, the most beautiful and intelligent woman I've ever had the privilege of loving, my best friend."
But last November, Jake won Megan's heart back after writing her a series of love letters in a grand romantic gesture.
After spending some solo time in Bali, Megan said she arrived home to find her apartment "filled with roses, fairylights, a home-cooked meal, a playlist of all my favourite music and, a love letter."
While she admitted their relationship wasn't perfect, she said Jake "fought relentlessly for me, and has taken time to know me, and love me."
She continued: "I spent the course of our relationship with one foot in and one foot out ... I said in Paradise that I couldn't imagine my life without you and that hasn't changed. You're my best friend and my home. I love you. Onwards and upwards 💕 You sexy hunk of a man."
But just a couple of weeks ago, Megan revealed the couple had split AGAIN, but that this time "it's done, it's over."
The "heartbroken" 30-year-old said she's glad she and Jake gave it a shot, but she's ready to be single and just date for fun.
"I'm really glad that we tried again, just to make sure, but when it doesn't work out... And I've never done this before. If it doesn't work out, it's over," Meghan told The Daily Mail.
"I think, if it's this hard... It shouldn't be this hard. It's a slog. If it just makes you both unhappy, what's the point of that?'
"He was so confident that we were meant to be and he fought really hard for it and there were things in our relationship that I wasn't happy with and he said that he would change and give it another go.''I felt like I owed it to him, to the relationship and to myself to try again."
The 2018 Bachelor In Paradise finale ended with Sam getting on one knee and proposing to Tara, but just a few months later the former lovebirds were embroiled in a bitter fight, with their once-fairytale romance spiralling into a devastating cycle of verbal and physical abuse.,
Sam says Tara's "excessive drinking" would lead to verbal and physical abuse, with Sam even accusing Tara of punching, kicking and biting him on several occasions.
"The first time it happened, one of her friends was visiting and I'd booked a restaurant for the four of us, but she got blackout drunk, abused me and passed out," he told Woman's Day in August.
"It was very common for her to go out partying for long periods of time ... she'd call me a loser in front of friends, telling me I'm not starting my life."
As Tara's partying and drinking continued, the abuse got worse.
"At weekends it was this bingeing thing and then it would be the put-downs and the verbal attacks," Sam said.
"But the next day the Tara I really liked was back and she didn't remember what she'd said, so we'd recover.
"I begged her to stop drinking and get counselling. You think it's going to get better and I kept telling myself we were under a lot of pressure," said Sam, who said the couple desperately tried to keep a low profile until the show's finale aired.
The final straw was a massive fight following a charity event at a Sydney nightclub. The couple got into an argument in the Uber back to the hotel, then Sam says Tara came at him like a "tornado."
"She bit my hand, my face and my back... I didn't actually realise how bad it was until I saw myself in the bathroom mirror."
"She did show remorse in the morning when she saw me and said she'd never do it again," said Sam, who did give Tara another shot.
But eventually they did break up, announcing their split in June last year.
It's hard to believe that it's been just over a year since Lisa and Luke were together, because so much has changed since then!
The couple were once super loved up, but Luke has been unable to shake reports that he cheated on Lisa with a 19-year-old girl.
"Unfortunately the trust was lost, and I respect myself a little bit too much to let somebody walk all over me like that, so we separated. I think mistakes happen, people have to live with those consequences and Luke is responsible for his actionsm," Lisa told Now To Love.
When asked about the allegations, Luke told Now To Love that there are "always two sides to a story", but said that he didnt "want to go into detail" about the rumours.
"I have a lot of respect for Lisa. There has be some level of dealing with the relationship – just the two of us."
But now all of that is water under the bridge, because Lisa has a brand new man and is pregnant with her first child!
In January the 32-year-old announced she is expecting a little girl with new partner Damon Collina.
And when he was asked about his ex-girlfriend's new addition, Luke was a total gentlemen, congraluating Lisa on the news.
"I'm genuinely happy for her," he told Now To Love, while adding, "I'm sure she'll be a good mum!"
Watch the trailer for Bachelor in Paradise 2019 below
Ali and Grant were one of last season's golden couples, but they've both moved onto bigger and better things, with the former Bachelorette now happily dating her new boyfriend Taite Radley.
Things did not end well between Ali and Grant though, with Grant accusing his former girlfriend of cheating on him - at his own house!
Grant told a local publication that he was hosting drinks at his place in Los Angeles with a big group of friends after a night out, when he walked in on Ali getting intimate with another man.
"The third or fourth day she got here [to LA] , we went out and this night — when all this stuff happened — I had people over after going out to a club," Grant said.
"I live in a gated community so I have to go down and let people in sometimes.
"So, I leave my house with my friend Sabrina, to go and grab my friends and bring them back upstairs, and when we walk back inside, we come up the stairs and she is hooking up with this dude."
Grant said he kicked Ali out of his house and later told KIIS FM's Kyle and Jackie O show that Ali texted him repeatedly, begging for forgiveness.
"She was like, 'Please, please, I hate myself for this. I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did that. That's not me,'" he said. "It's like, 'Dude you did it, I don't care if you were drunk or not, that's no excuse.'"
But Ali has denied any of this, arguing the real reason for their breakup was that the "distance was too hard".
"Uh ... there are lots of rumours around the show and ... yeah, Grant and I are keeping some things private," she told Fifi, Fev & Byron on 101.9 Fox FM.
"I want to respect us because we had a really meaningful relationship, and it just didn't work out."