Cate Campbell is one of Australia’s most successful swimmers – a four-time Olympic gold medallist and current world record holder in the short course 100m freestyle – and riding high from announcing her exciting engagement to partner Adam Kerr, who proposed just days after the couple moved into the Sunshine Coast home they’re renovating.
Yet, despite Cate’s seemingly blessed life, living out her childhood dreams on the world stage and building a life with her devoted partner, behind the scenes, she was waging a private war with depression that threatened to consume her.
It was at the height of her career that Cate first began struggling with depression – a diagnosis she says she felt she didn’t “deserve”.
“I felt at that time that I had such a good life. And I do, I really do. I have the most extraordinary life, and it is beyond my wildest dreams,” she opens up to Woman’s Day. “And yet, for a period of a couple of years through 2020 and 2021, I was really, really struggling, and I think that I didn’t feel like someone with my level of privilege, I use the word ‘deserve’ to get depression, as in, I didn’t have anything to be depressed about.”
A CRY FOR HELP
The moment of clarity that Cate needed help came in June 2020, when she unexpectedly broke down over a minor inconvenience.
“I was trying to make myself a hot chocolate before bed,” she explains. “I turned on the kettle and the power tripped and all the lights went out. I went and turned the switch back on, all the lights came on, I came inside, turned on the kettle again, and it did the same thing. And something inside me broke.
“I just remember crying in a way that I didn’t understand and I didn’t recognise. It’s those sobs where they feel like it’s coming from somewhere deep inside you and it’s not in your control. And I was like, ‘Oh, this is not OK, something is not right here.’”
Five weeks before the Tokyo Olympics, Cate made the decision to try medication.
“Instead of being excited to compete, I looked at the task ahead and was just so afraid of what lay ahead – I didn’t want to go and compete and I didn’t want to be feeling the level of dread that I was feeling,” she admits. “I kept journals at that time and reading them is what breaks my heart – in some ways I’m cursed and blessed with not a very good memory, so I don’t even really remember how bad it was. But when I look back at some of the things I’d written and the depths of the pain I was in, it makes me realise that I was unwell.”
NEW BEGINNINGS
Today, a little over a year after she retired from her career as an elite athlete, the 33-year-old – who teamed up with Medibank for their recent Family Roast day campaign to get families
talking about mental health – is off the antidepressants and better equipped to manage her mental wellbeing.
“It’s definitely been challenging,” she says. “I’ve gone from a single focus and a goal and a purpose to suddenly being let off the leash and released into the wild. And there are some wonderful things about it – being able to sleep in, to not be physically so sore and so exhausted, to be able to spend time with friends and family. But there are real challenges as well. But I would say I’m very equipped to manage all the ups and downs.”
With the world now her oyster, Cate’s prioritising her health, happiness and wellbeing – starting with moving in with her partner of six years, Adam, getting a new cocker spaniel puppy and now celebrating their engagement!
“I’ve moved to a property that my partner and I have been renovating on the Sunshine Coast,” she reveals. “I feel happiest when I can be outside and close to the water. And for the first time in my life, I am prioritising lifestyle and wellbeing over career.
“Since I was 16 years old, I have done whatever is required of me to advance my career. So just even for the next little few years, I really feel like I want to lean in to taking a break from that.”
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