Time spent with family can be comforting, but it can also bring moments of quiet concern. You might notice your mum asking the same question more than once, or your dad seeming less confident with everyday tasks. These changes can be unsettling, especially when you’re unsure what they mean or how to respond.
According to Clinical Psychologist Melissa Levi, these moments are often the first signs that an older parent could benefit from extra support – not to take over, but to help them continue living life on their own terms.
THE SUBTLE SIGNS ARE EASY TO MISS
When life is busy, small changes can go unnoticed. That’s why longer visits, such as during the holidays, often bring things into sharper focus. A missed meal, unopened mail, or a shift in mood may stand out in a way it didn’t before.
Memory lapses can show up as repeated stories or difficulty keeping track of conversations. Emotional changes may be just as telling – increased irritability, anxiety, or withdrawal can signal that something feels harder than it used to. Even practical tasks like managing finances, cooking, or keeping track of belongings can gradually become overwhelming.
Many people struggle to know where the line is between normal ageing and a need for support. In fact, only a small proportion of adults feel confident recognising when an older family member might need help – which is why uncertainty and worry are so common.
WHY THESE CONVERSATIONS FEEL SO HARD
Noticing change is one thing; talking about it is another. Conversations about ageing and support can feel loaded with emotion, for both parents and adult children. No one wants to feel like they’re losing control or independence.
The way these conversations begin matters. Choosing a calm, private moment – rather than raising concerns in the middle of a busy family gathering – can help keep things grounded. Listening first, without jumping to solutions, shows respect and builds trust.
Melissa Levi suggests focusing on what your parents want, not what you fear. Framing the discussion around comfort, independence, and quality of life can help shift it from something confrontational to something collaborative.
SUPPORT DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN BIG CHANGES
Support is often most effective when it starts small. Rather than drastic decisions, it can be as simple as discussing ways to make daily routines easier or safer. Small adjustments can go a long way in helping someone feel confident and in control.
This approach reflects how many people feel about their ageing relatives. Research shows that nearly all adults over 35 believe it’s important to help older family members remain independent at home. Most are deeply concerned about their wellbeing, and many wish they could spend more time staying connected through visits and regular check-ins.
These feelings are shared across families – and they come from care, not obligation.
STAYING CONNECTED MATTERS
At its heart, supporting your parents is about connection. Paying attention, checking in, and being willing to have gentle conversations can make a meaningful difference. It reassures your loved ones that they’re not facing change alone, and that support is available when they want it.
You don’t need all the answers. Sometimes, simply noticing, listening, and showing up is the most powerful form of support there is.
Mable’s Holiday Check In campaign helps families spot the early warning signs and have a caring conversation so that loved ones can continue living independently. Visit mable.com.au/holiday-check-in.
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
