Parenting

Have you ever smacked your child? Science says they’ll feel the sting many years later

The verdict is in.

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott once said, “I think all parents know that occasionally the best thing that we can give a kid is a smack”, but according to science, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

A new study from the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Michigan found that physical discipline during infancy can be detrimental to both behaviour and mental health in later years.

To find their answers, researchers studied the data of over 160,000 children over a 50 year period. They discovered that smacking, defined as an open-handed hit on the behind or extremities, led to anti-social behaviours, aggression and mental health issues in adulthood.

“We found that spanking was associated with unintended detrimental outcomes and was not associated with more immediate or long-term compliance, which are parents’ intended outcomes when they discipline their children,” says Elizabeth Gershoff, an associate professor of human development and family sciences at The University of Texas at Austin.

“The upshot of the study is that spanking increases the likelihood of a wide variety of undesired outcomes for children. Spanking thus does the opposite of what parents usually want it to do,” adds study co-author Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, an associate professor at the University of Michigan School of Social Work.

boys will be boys

“Spanking does the opposite of what parents usually want it to do.”

Not only that, but the team were able to further identify that those who were spanked more likely to do the same to their own children – showing a direct example physical punishment being passed from generation to generation.

According to a 2014 UNICEF report, a whopping 80 per cent of parents worldwide still smack their children.

In Australia, it is not illegal to spank your child as long as it’s within reason. “Corporal punishment by a parent or carer is lawful and is not considered child abuse provided that it is ‘reasonable'”, the government site reads, though it does make note of the negative outcomes associated.

Gershoff hopes that the new research educates and encourages parents to try positive and non-punitive forms of discipline.

“We as a society think of spanking and physical abuse as distinct behaviors,” she says. “Yet our research shows that spanking is linked with the same negative child outcomes as abuse, just to a slightly lesser degree.”

What do you think of this? Let us know by commenting on our Facebook page.

For more about the ins and outs of motherhood, LISTEN as host Claire Isaac quizzes Rhian Allen, the Founder and CEO of The Healthy Mummy, on ‘How To Be a Mumpreneur’ in the first episode of our ‘How To Be…’ podcast.

Royals

Her Majesty appoints a brand new private secretary

Buckingham Palace confirmed the news...
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Queen Elizabeth has hired a new member to her official team following the surprise departure of her current private secretary Sir Christopher Geidt, who resigned from the post.

Sir Christopher, who has been with the palace since 2002, shared a statement explaining his decision.

“It has been my very great privilege to serve the Queen since the Golden Jubilee in 2002 and, especially, as her private secretary for the past decade. In that time, as throughout her reign, Her Majesty’s authority has brought stability, purpose and colour to country and Commonwealth alike.”

The palace household is going through a “shakeup”

“With the Duke of Edinburgh’s recent decision to draw back from public life, the Queen’s own unwavering commitment as sovereign has the full and active support of the entire royal family.”

“It is therefore with every confidence, and with Her Majesty’s agreement, that I now hand over the responsibilities of the Queen’s private secretary to my successor, Edward Young.”

Christopher’s deputy first joined the royal household in 2004.

Sir Christopher has been with the palace since 2002.

His departure comes has been described as a shock, with the Mail on Sunday reporting that a dramatic shake-up is taking place as the Queen and Prince Charles try to impose greater unity on the rival “firms”, or households, of the younger royals.

The 91-year-old and Prince Philip, who retires from royal duty this week, have made no secret that they’re preparing to scale back their work load and hand the baton over to the younger generation.

Related: Ever wonder what it’s like working for royalty? Check out our time with Prince Charles’ former butler, Grant Harrold in the video player below!

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Duchess Catherine has also made changes to her team with the hiring of Catherine Quinn as her new private secretary.

Taking over the role from Rebecca Deacon, the new appointment has an impressive resume.

Catherine is currently the chief operating officer and associate dean for administration at the University of Oxford’s Saïd Business School.

“After a decade of service to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry, Rebecca Deacon will be stepping down as private secretary to the Duchess of Cambridge.”

Catherine and her private secretary are so close, the royal has helped secure her wedding venue for her.

Lifestyle

This woman turned the tables on a mother and her screaming baby during a plane trip

I have mom powers and totally ignore it......BUT what I CANT ignore is this.

Flying with a on board is the pits. It’s frustrating, and the sound of a baby shrieking can almost bring you to tears yourself.

Now imagine what it’s like for the poor parent/s travelling with that baby. They’ve been where you are, they know it’s a horrible experience, and they are no doubt doing all they can to keep the baby quiet and calm – but every parent knows this isn’t always possible.

Kesha Bernard is a mother of two herself, so when she heard a baby crying on her 5 am flight she empathised with the poor mother.

What was about to go down was an incident we can all learn from, because why sit back and do nothing when you can help someone.

“Here I am on vacation away from my kids (who I absolutely love to death but sometimes you need a break from toddlers) and I’m flying with an infant on my lap.”

“Why? Because I’m a decent human being. Listen…..it takes a village to raise kids ok? And as a mom of a 3 year old and 4 year old I KNOW this. And I also know that toddlers can be assholes……so first let me just tell you what happened,” her Facebook post begins.

I boarded my flight today at 5:45am in Seattle. Alaskan airlines flight 674 and I sat down in the middle seat. (Ughh aka the worst seat possible but its ok….its only a seat) anyway I sit down and theres some weight issues with the plane that needs to be checked out.

So everyone is sitting in this full packed plane. And a baby starts crying (oh god forbid right?) Obviously im totally used to crying and whining so I tune it out.

Everyone around me starts huffing and puffing and mumbling. Then……I hear 2 kids crying (holy s!#$ right?)this lady has her toddler having a full blown melt down over her seatbelt being on (toddlers are dramatic thats nothing new) No problem…..I have mom powers and totally ignore it……BUT what I CANT ignore is this.

I hear a woman complaining to this mother (thats alone with 2 crying kids) that her child need to stop kicking her seat. THEN I hear the mother say “shes 3 I cant believe you just did that” apparently the lady reached behind her and grabbed the childs leg (aka” oh hell no”)

While this is happening the freaking flight attendant is just standing there…listening. Not even doing anything. And the older men beside me make remarks like “obviously her way of discipline isnt working” so I reply with “shes probably afraid to do anything…you cant do anything anymore” and they stopped talking. Ok back to the lady in the back

You guys….this is a full plane….and I sat here for 15 mins waiting on someone closer to this woman to offer her help…because im surrounded by caring adults, right? (Wrong) I turn around to see people mumbling and staring at this mother with her THREE kids ALONE….A screaming toddler / crying baby/ and a very well behaved older child. (one grown ass woman was holding her hands on her ears and making the ugliest faces at this mother..lady are you freaking KIDDING ME)

SO….being a decent human being I couldn’t take letting this mother drown back there….(and let me tell you she was being so freaking calm you guys….like i would have already been crying but she was doing so good) I get up out of my seat go a few rows back and go ask her if she needs help ( apparently thats so hard to do) she immediately handed me her baby.

(This lady was like HOLY HELL YESSSSSSSS!) So ya know I take her baby and then I have to go sit down for take off…….the crying stopped😱😱😱 (its a miracle👀)

so Im sitting here holding this precious baby that so happens to fall asleep (swooooon)

My point???? Be nice and considerate. If someone needs help for God’s sake HELP THEM. Complaining and mumbling doesn’t do a damn thing except make the person that needs help feel worse (words hurt )……..and back to the lady holding her ears…….GROW UP…

( ..It wasnt just her hands over her ears it was more her making faces while doing it and staring in disapproval at the mother of 3) this flight should be ashamed of themselves.. you’re telling me Im the only ONE out of a full plane that was willing to help???? How we can ignore a human in distress beyond me.

Please be kind. Please be considerate. Help one another…it makes everything easier. I promise you wont die.

The Facebook post has been shared almost 100 thousand times with people praising Kesha and her actions.

May we all take a little bit of Kesha’s good nature and thoughtfulness away with us after reading this amazing story.

TV

A walk down memory lane with McLeod’s Daughters star Michala Banas

Do you remember when Michala filled in as Libby on Neighbours?

Michala Banas has starred in a number of great Aussie soaps, dramas and comedies over the years from Always Greener to Upper Middle Bogan.

The 38-year-old actress is perhaps best known for her role of Kate Manfredi on McLeod’s Daughters. She is even set to appear at an upcoming fan meet and greet for the series with fellow cast mates Rachael Carpani and Simone Jade Mackinnon in September.

We take a walk down memory lane with the Aussie actress as Michala reflects just some of her favourite roles.

In 2001 Michala landed the role of Marissa Taylor in Always Greener.

The popular Australian drama ran for just two seasons before being cancelled in 2013.

In 2002 Michala had a small role in the film Scooby Doo. “I look like I’m 15-years-old!” Michala tells TV WEEK. “I’m about 21 there, though. I’d never worked on a big blockbuster film before. I had a great time.”

Michala played Kate Manfredi on McLeod’s Daughters from 2004 to 2008.

“Lavender was big back then!,” Michala recalls of her bridesmaid dress on the series. “It was such a big TV moment when Nick [Myles Pollard] and Tess [Bridie Carter] got married!” See more great McLeod’s Daughter’s moments here.

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McLeod’s Daughters greatest moments

In 2008, Michala played the role of Libby on Neighbours for a five week period while actress Kym Valentine took a break from filming due to illness. They sure do look similar!

“It was a whirlwind, but fun!” Michala admits. “I had been given two days notice to come and play Libby temporarily. Alan [Fletcher] and Jackie [Woodburne] were fantastic, because we just had to be a family immediately. It was really interesting to see how the fans reacted.”

From 2011 to 2012, Michala appeared as Tiffany in Winners & Losers.

“My character Tiffany, the bitch, was so much fun!” Michala admits.
 “I wanted everything fake – fake nails and fake tan!”

Michala was part of the cast of the 2012 mini series Beaconsfield. “That was incredible and very emotional to shoot,” Michala remembers. “It really happened to these people, and what 
they went through was quite traumatic. I found myself [on set] thinking about it constantly. It was a remarkable experience. I’m still in touch with Todd [played by Lachy Hulme] and Carolyn Russell – they’re beautiful people.”

Michala has played Amber Wheeler on the past three seasons of Upper Middle Bogan.

“I don’t like to pick favourites, but Amber is one of my favourite characters,” Michala says. “Robyn Nevin is amazing to work with. I love the show so much!”

Homes

Tidy office, tidy mind: how organising your workspace can ease your stress levels

Turns out the secret to feeling happier, less stressed and more productive is rejuvenating your home office space.
home office style

Some old sayings can be taken with a pinch of salt, but there’s one old adage that rings true: Tidy home, tidy mind.

Now you may have heard a slightly different take on the saying over the years — tidy room, tidy mind; tidy desk, tidy mind — but the message remains the same. Decluttering your space declutters your mind, allowing you to feel good and in turn, for your productivity and creativity levels to spike.

Far from just an old cliché, many mental health experts support the theory.

“There’s significant research to highlight the benefits of an ordered and decluttered environment,” says Positive Psychologist Dr Suzy Green, founder of The Positivity Institute.

“Clutter can have a negative impact on sustained attention — a high level of visual stimuli in our environment is naturally going to compete for our attention, meaning it can be difficult to get what we need and quick. This can result in feelings of stress and overwhelm, which should be avoided in any workplace.”

The trick is knowing how to declutter. Here, some quick and easy decluttering tricks whatever your workspace looks like.

^Click the symbols to shop the items for your workspace.

1. An at-home studio space

If you work from home, either part or full-time, or are looking to turn a passion project into a profitable business, carve out a chic and calming working-from-home zone in your house.

Keep the room’s colour palette neutral and muted, and opt for Scandi-style furniture that has a minimalist feel. Officeworks offers a great range of desks, sideboards and storage units in pale timbers that work beautifully with a pared-back colour scheme. “Having a simplified workspace with a minimalist touch will provide the opportunity to focus, with less detail to detract us from the task,” says Dr Green.

If space is short, think about smart storage solutions such as bookshelves that offer multiple purposes; a place to display moodboards and inspirational quotes as well as somewhere to keep files and other organisational necessities, such as storage trays, racks and boxes. A laptop or tablet will also help save space and ensure you’re connected and available wherever you are. Try Samsung S2 8″ WiFi Galaxy Tab 32GB Black.

^Click the symbols to shop the items for your workspace.

2. A high-tech co-working environment

If you work in a co-working, high-tech environment, ergonomic workstations and good organisation are key elements for you.

Focus on kitting out each workstation with tools that will help you succeed. Think: adjustable sit-stand desks that encourage good posture, widescreen desktop computers, bluetooth devices such as J.Burrows Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard, and portable tech that will allow you to be contactable and responsive on-the-go.

Now you may rely on the Seagate 5TB Expansion Desktop Hard Drive for backup, but you still need a good ol’ fashioned pen and paper sometimes! Officeworks stock a large range of modern and designer stationery and storage solutions that will fit in seamlessly with your space’s modern aesthetic.

^Click the symbols to shop the items for your workspace.

3. An industrial style space

If you’re working out of a converted warehouse, garage or barn — or simply love interiors with an industrial-style vibe — look no further than Officeworks. The office supply giant has heaps of filing cabinets and other essential storage items that will help you create a utilitarian, industrial vibe that’s clear from clutter.

Open shelving and raw materials (read: lots of wood and metal) will help you achieve your desired working space. But, with all that open space, you’ll need a good storage system in place so stock up on leather-bound boxes, metal drawers and magazine racks, plus cardboard and wooden boxes.

Any time you feel your desk becoming messy and uncluttered, simply pile papers into the boxes and sort them out at the end of the day, once you’ve ticked off your To Do list. You’ll feel much more productive for having that mess out of sight and stored away neatly. “Investing half an hour at the beginning and end of the day can assist in bringing order and focus to the multiple tasks you need to achieve,” says Dr Green.

A creative space such as this calls for adaptable tech. Update a bulky desktop computer with a 2-in-1 tablet that suits both work and play, such as Lenovo Yoga Book 10″ Tablet Grey. With a halo keyboard, predictive input, auto correct and digitiser pen, it’s the ultimate office solution for creatives.

This article is sponsored by Officeworks

Local News

The banal secret that made a man kill his mother and two brothers

Despite his fiancée knowing all about his criminal past, it was something far more innocent that turned Brett Ryan into the "Crossbow Killer".
The banal secret that made a man kill his mother and two brothers

Brett Ryan came to prominence in Canada almost a decade ago after he committed a series of heists while disguised as an elderly man.

The stunt earned him the nickname “Fake Beard Bandit”, a name as “sweet” as the man behind the attacks, and his fiancée knew all about his sordid past.

Kristen Baxter met Ryan while he was on parole and, like his sentencing judge, she gave him the benefit of the doubt.

WATCH: Oscar Pistorius says the girlfriend he fatally shot wouldn’t want him to spend his life in jail.

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The spree of robberies, committed during a depressive episode triggered by his break-up with another girlfriend, was deemed so out of character for the charming, popular Ryan that the judge rejected the prosecution’s suggestion of 10 years, instead giving him just three years and nine months.

With good behaviour, Ryan was granted day release after just 15 months while the Parole Board of Canada noted he didn’t suffer major mental illness, psychopathy or have a history of violence.

In fact, they felt the whole scenario had reconnected him to his family if anything.

“You remain a low risk for offending,” the board wrote in 2011 as they granted him full parole.

Just six years later, Ryan strangled his mother Susan and killed his brothers with a crossbow on August 25, 2016.

Just like that, the sweet “Fake Beard Bandit” had transformed into the murderous “Crossbow Killer”.

Brett Ryan and his fiancée, Kristen Baxter.

Although Baxter had readily accepted his past, it was a new embarrassment he couldn’t bear to reveal to his fiancée that caused him to murder his family.

When Ryan’s new job at an IT company found out about his time in prison, they fired him but he was too ashamed to tell Baxter and pretended to work from home.

After months of deceit, his mother Susan encouraged him to tell Baxter what was really happening and offered to help him until he was back on his feet.

But, she said, if he didn’t tell his fiancée, she would cut him off financially.

Desperate that Baxter not find out his secret, Ryan started to set up an alibi days before the triple murder by setting up an iPad and iPhone in his apartment to create an electronic footprint, according to police.

“Brett Ryan was worried that if his fiancée discovered the web of lies, she’d call off the wedding,” Justice John McMahon said at the sentencing hearing.

“This was a sophisticated plan to build in an alibi, although these devices were never used.”

Ryan also hid a crossbow in his mother’s garage and when he confronted her on August 25, 2016, a row erupted. Susan Ryan called her other son Christopher to come help the situation.

Before he got there, Ryan stabbed his mum with the crossbow and strangled her with a yellow nylon rope, the court heard.

When Christopher arrived, he shot him in the back of the head.

He then covered the bodies with a tarp and lied in wait for his younger brother Alexander, who he then fatally stabbed with the crossbow.

The third and final brother Leigh, who lived with their mother, saw Ryan standing over Alexander’s body in the driveway and ran inside to call police.

Despite being attacked, Leigh managed to escape to a neighbour’s house and raise the alarm.

Ryan immediately confessed to all three murders when police arrived at the house.

Ryan’s life sentences for the murders will run concurrently.

Lifestyle

What a woman… A pregnant doctor ready to give birth delivers another patient’s baby first

“I just put on another gown to cover up my backside and went down to her room."
Pregnant doctor ready to give birth delivers other baby first

Dr Amanda Hess was pregnant in her hospital room, preparing to give birth to her second child, when she suddenly heard screaming coming from the room next door.

As it turns out, WKYT report that another woman was giving birth and the on-call doctor was out of the building. So Amanda took matters into her own hands and sprung into action.

“I just put on another gown to cover up my backside and put on some boots over my shoes, to keep from getting any fluid and all that stuff on me, and went down to her room,” she explains.

The Kentucky doctor, who happens to be an obstetrician/gynecologist in the US, recognised the patient as a woman from her practice that she had seen just a week beforehand for a final pre-natal appointment.

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“She overheard the nurses preparing for a woman in active labor who needed to deliver immediately because the baby was in distress — that baby was coming and needed help,” fellow physician Dr. Hala Sabry adds.

And she knew just what to do. In fact, Leah says it wasn’t until later that she realised Amanda actually wasn’t on duty at the time she helped her deliver.

“I said, ‘OK, it’s great to see you. Can I push now?’” Leah said. “She was in complete doctor mode. She just heard somebody needed help.”

Because of Amanda’s quick thinking and instincts, she was able to help Leah deliver a happy, healthy 3.6kg girl, not long before giving birth to her own child, also a girl.

“It’s life-affirming that there are these women out there watching out for other women,” Leah said of Amanda. “She has made me feel good about life.”

*This story originally appeared on Woman’s World

For more about the ins and outs of motherhood, LISTEN as host Claire Isaac quizzes Rhian Allen, the Founder and CEO of The Healthy Mummy, on ‘How To Be a Mumpreneur’ in the first episode of our ‘How To Be…’ podcast.

Weddings

Bride left an empty seat for her dead son, was shocked to see it filled by man carrying his heart

This bride got the surprise of her life and it may be one of these most beautiful things we have ever seen.

Do you have tissues ready? If not, get some before you read on.

Love Adventures, a photography Facebook page based in Alaska shared a story so moving it will manage to bring even the stoniest among us to tears.

Becky made a beautiful bride, and her wedding was set to be a perfect day.

She and soon-to-be husband Kelly Turney decided to leave a seat empty in honour of Becky’s son Tristion, who passed away at the very young age of 19.

The seat held a sign with the following message:

I am in heaven for your wedding day so what shall I do?

I’ll come down to earth to spend it with you

So save me a seat just one empty chair

You may not see me

but I will be there

That alone is a beautiful and moving story, but things are about to pick up a notch.

Triston, Becky’s son, was an organ donor and the man who now carries his heart arrived at the wedding ceremony to meet Becky for the first time.

It was all organised by the Kelly, the Groom, as a surprise for Becky and by the looks of these photos it was certainly that.

“I knew about this surprise but nothing prepares you for the beauty of this moment,” explains the original post from the Love Adventured photography page.

“I met a man named Jacob Kilby yesterday who is alive because of a heart transplant received from this brides son, Triston. Her son couldn’t be here for the wedding day but Becky’s groom Kelly Turney , surprised her by flying Jacob up to Alaska to stand in as a groomsmen, carrying Triston’s heart.”

“Kelly stopped the ceremony to introduce Jacob to Becky for the first time.”

“Everyone was so moved by this and I had to share this amazing story. I had the pleasure of hearing Jacob share his gratitude and plans for a heart healthy life to Triston’s sister before the ceremony. I am so blown away by his story and his amazing outlook on life. You couldn’t ask for a better recipient to receive such a gift.”

On her Facebook page Becky explains she is overwhelmed with how far the story has travelled, and in the long list of people of she thanks she includes Jacob.

“Jacob…. hands down the best gift … most amazing surprise ever!! Thank you for caring for Triston’s heart. Thank you for being here! Thank you thank you thank you!”

Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye.

TV

This Time Next Year’s Darren and Jen’s wedding album

The couple share photos from their big day.
This Time Next Year

The Nine Network’s heart-warming new series This Time Next Year took out top spot in last night’s ratings race with 1,282,000 viewers tuning in.

We’re still picking up our jaws from the floor after couple Darren and Jen revealed their amazing transformation last night on the show.

The lovebirds from NSW, who have been together for five years, made the pledge to lose weight ahead of their wedding day.

But no one, not even host Karl Stefanovic, could have anticipated just how much they would have changed in just 12 months.

“I don’t want to be a fat bride,” Jennifer revealed.

Of her dream dress, Jennifer admitted she was still yet to try one on.

“I don’t know if I’m going to get down to my dream size,” she said.

Darren and Jen on their special day.

Walking through the ‘Next Year’ sliding doors, Darren and Jen, both 39, looked unrecognisable as they showed off their incredible bodies after shedding a combined weight of 96kgs – thanks to gastric band surgery and a strict diet and exercise plan.

“I was 109kgs and I’m now 73.9kg,” Jennifer proudly declared.

“I started out at 108.8kg and my latest weigh-in was 77.8kgs,” Darren added.

Jen looks absolutely stunning in her dress!

Chatting to Karl, the pair admitted they feel like different people.

“We went jean shopping last week and I got down to a size ten,” Jennifer revealed.

“Once the recovery was over and done with (from surgery) we just got stuck into the exercise and it’s become our life. We’re even looking at buying ourselves bikes now.”

The happy couple on the dancefloor.

Since losing the weight, Jennifer and Darren have since gone on to tie the knot in their dream ceremony surrounded by close family and friends.

And to celebrate, the couple we’re more than happy to share some of the snaps from their special day with TV WEEK.

Congratulations, guys!

What a stunning ceremony!

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TV

The Bachelor’s Elora: “I wanted something that was stronger than just kissing!”

Wow. Just... wow.
The Bachelor's Elora

Things don’t take long at all the heat up on The Bachelor, do they?

Tahitian babe Elora Murger scored the first date with the lovable Matty J last week – but not the first kiss.

And while most thought she was simply playing coy, it turns out it wasn’t her choice to keep it G-rated. In fact, Elora tells NW that she wanted more just a kiss from the Bachie…

Elora and Matty shared the first single date – but didn’t lock lips.

“I like to build up, you know – and I was the first date. I was really comfortable and it was really amazing, and we were cuddling and keeping each other warm and stuff,” she spills.

“But I guess the first kiss is always intimidating. I wanted something that was stronger than just kissing – ‘cos it’s the first date and we are on The Bachelor!”

The Bondi-based PT says she and Matty were both feeling the spark on the date, but unfortunately this time one thing just did not lead to another.

“The first kiss is always intimidating,” says Elora.

“I was really trying to keep my body language, so he wouldn’t like, you know… I wanted him to want more. I wanted him to be more curious [of me] and I wanted him to take me on another date.”

Mystery’s probably not the best strategy on The Bachelor, but you do you, girl… Matty seems to be diggin’ it, anyway…

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