New chapters can be daunting, but they’re also full of potential. We’re launching Life 3.0 – a new monthly column about navigating midlife and beyond, with practical advice on adapting to change and living your best life at every stage.
To kick things off, counsellor Kerry McCarthy shares her expert tips on making friends with change, while Woman’s Day‘s Lifestyle Editor Janine Donovan opens up about her own “triple whammy” of divorce, midlife and empty nesting – and how she’s rebuilding into her next chapter, Jeanie 3.0.
How to Make Friends with Change by Kerry McCarthy
As the founder of Working Well Counselling in Sydney, Kerry McCarthy is a counsellor and psychotherapist who specialises in supporting women as they navigate challenges and life transitions. Her expertise covers everything from parenting and relationship problems to career shifts and health issues.
Kerry provides practical, supportive strategies to help make the hard times we all face feel a little easier. Find Kerry at workingwellcounselling.com
New chapters can be daunting, but they’re also full of potential. Here’s how to embrace a fresh start when life takes an unexpected turn…
There comes a point in time when, after years of life feeling stable and secure, a new chapter starts to brew. The young children who once relied on us for school drop-offs and weekend sport get their Ps and take the wheel themselves. Our bodies start to change and slow down, and what once felt easy now needs more care and attention. Elderly parents start to rely on us for their everyday care, and we may even have to move home, navigate a job change or say goodbye to a relationship.
While new chapters are a normal part of life, they can feel overwhelming, and leave us wondering what’s next.
Learning how to make friends with change can turn starting over into something exciting
1. Remember, you’re the expert!
When things suddenly change, such as an unexpected health diagnosis or a redundancy at work, we can often feel unsure about how to take the next step.
Unforeseen change can be frightening, and it’s normal to have a crisis of confidence.
This is the time to remind yourself that chances are this isn’t the first time you’ve had to start again. Experiences from your past – moving house, starting a new job or becoming a parent – have equipped you with resilience, resourcefulness and courage. You still have all those skills and strengths, and tapping into them now will help you on your new journey.
2. Take things slow and steady
After something significant, like the end of a relationship, it’s common to feel pressure to rush your next move, and it can be easy to react emotionally when under the pump. But making
big, permanent life decisions when you’re in shock, upset or still mulling over your options isn’t ideal.
Give yourself time and permission to pause, take a breath, sit with the changes and accept that a new normal is on its way.
3. Decide what you want
When change is forced upon us, we can feel powerless. We’re not. While we may not choose the change, we still have a say in what we want going forward. Make a list of what you hope for
in the future. If you’re facing the prospect of having to change jobs, what would your ideal new role look like? If it’s a new home, where would you like to wake up every day?
Who do you need to seek advice from to make your new future work for you – a financial adviser or a careers coach? Once you know what you truly want, it’s easier to create a plan for how to get there.
4. Grieve what you’ve lost
With any significant shift, there’s often a sense of absence. This is isn’t just when experiencing bereavement, but also with a health diagnosis, when kids start to become independent or even moving house. Sudden changes to routine can leave things feeling untethered, and empty nests can be lonely.
A fresh chapter, while exciting, might also feel like too much, too soon. It’s important to acknowledge what you’ve lost and take the time to grieve.
Saying goodbye to the past can help you move happily into the future.
5. Prepare before it happens
While some changes are unexpected, others are more predictable. One of the biggest shifts parents face happens when children become young adults and move out of home or begin to get more independent. Suddenly, we have more time on our hands, and our role as almost diminished.
Preparing for this type of change before it happens can help ease the transition. Taking on more responsibility at work, starting a new hobby or volunteering can help fill the gap and create a renewed sense of purpose. Reaching out to others in the same boat can also help – whether that’s a walking group or close friends.
6. Reach out for help
Change can feel lonely, and connecting with others going through similar transitions can help normalise the experience and build new relationships. As well as family and friends, professional support is also available. Talk to your GP about local support groups related to health or grief. If you’re navigating a career change or redundancy, access any support your workplace offers. There are also government programs available to help with finances and housing – simply search for local state and territory providers.
Life 3.0: Your Next Chapter Lived Beautifully by Janine Donovan
Comes in threes
Two years ago, I found myself navigating what I now refer to as the triple whammy – divorce, midlife and empty nesting. After nearly two decades of marriage, I made the difficult decision to separate
from my husband. At the same time, my children were moving through their 20s, becoming more independent and beginning lives of their own.
While each of those changes is significant on its own, experiencing them all at once felt overwhelming. There was a house to prepare for sale, decades of de-cluttering to tackle, a career to maintain and a family to support as we all adjusted to a new reality. For a long time, I was simply focused on getting through it. It was a challenging, often exhausting time.
Dust settles
Then the dust settled. The house sold. The paperwork was done. The immediate challenges passed. And for the first time, I was left asking a question I suspect many women encounter at some point during midlife: what now?
For years, my life had been shaped by the roles I played for others – wife, mother, problem-solver and organiser. Roles I loved deeply. But as they began to evolve, I realised I needed to spend time rediscovering who I was beyond them, and what I wanted the next chapter of life to look like.
3.0 is born
Around that time, a friend started joking about my 3.0 or my next chapter. My nickname is Jeanie, so we coined this new version of myself Jeanie 3.0 – my future self, the woman I was becoming. My 2.0 was the woman I had been for the previous two decades, a chapter of life I loved deeply, but one that had naturally come to an end.
Whenever I slipped back into old habits, my friends would joke, “that’s very 2.0 of you”. This new 3.0 rebrand became a fresh framework for moving forward. Not rejecting who I’d been, but creating space for the next chapter.
Join me…
While my 3.0 began with divorce, I’ve since realised midlife transitions come in many forms. Relationships evolve, priorities shift and life asks us to redefine what comes next. Over the coming months,
I’ll be sharing the lessons, discoveries and occasional missteps I’ve experienced along the way.
Wherever you find yourself right now, I hope you’ll join me as we embrace Life 3.0 in the happiest, healthiest and most stylish way possible.
Follow along on Instagram @womansdayau
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