EXPERT ADVICE: 10 steps to an amicable divorce

How do these celebs make it work?
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Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have announced their divorce was completely mutual.

A mutual divorce is very common in most relationships especially when children are involved like Sophie and Joe.

Unfortunately, this isn’t always easy and there are many ways where a divorce can get messy.

Cassandra Kalpaxis, Amicable Family & Divorce Lawyer and founder of Kalpaxis Legal has shared her top 10 advice tips for couples trying to have an amicable divorce.

Recently Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have announced their divorce, completely mutual and Joe wants shared custody. We are sure these two will be amazing co-parents!

(Credit: Getty)

1. Communication is key

Communicate early and with empathy.

Understanding that you are not the only one hurting right now is a huge step towards an amicable divorce.

Make sure you are communicating everything with your partner and not just the facts but your feelings.

2. Get Professional help

Get professional assistance from a marriage mediator and a counsellor during the early stages in order to set the ground rules for the separation.

Outline what is acceptable in terms of communication, what isn’t, what the rules are when the conversation gets too tricky.

Setting boundaries between each other can be hard and might be easier with a mediator in the middle to reaffirm that these boundaries are valid and need to be set.

3. Mediation

Mediate as a way of trying to come to an agreement about property and children and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.

Mediation is confidential and you get to lay it all out on the table without the fear of retribution.

It’s a much better way of breaking down who keeps what as you have the chance to express your feelings over certain property.

4. Approach your separation with empathy

Your ex is probably just as scared as you.

The more you approach something with aggression the more you are likely to receive the same type of behaviour back.

Approaching with empathy allows you both to feel for each other and support each other through the divorce.

These two are amazing co-parents, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan still go to events together with their daughter, such as the Taylor Swift Era’s Tour.

(Credit: Facebook)

5. No response is a response

Understand that no response is a response and a clear one at that.

Not responding isn’t always a good option (unless circumstances of family violence coercion etc).

If you need time to consider something don’t be afraid to acknowledge the communication and set clear guidelines about when you will respond.

6. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!

Set your boundaries in a polite but firm way and stick to them.

No matter what every person has boundaries for all aspects of life and when they get crossed you feel angry and upset.

Confusion and resentment are created when there is a blurring of the boundaries.

7. The main priority is the children’s wellbeing

Always focus on the children instead of your own needs.

This is the key to having an amicable divorce because at the end of the day, the one thing you two will be able to agree on is focusing on the children’s wellbeing.

8. Set out how you will co-parent

Be unified in your parenting approach.

If you don’t agree about certain things, this is when seeking expert intervention from a family dispute resolution practitioner or a parenting coordinator can assist.

The most amicable divorce award goes to Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom. Not only are they amazing co-parents, they also make an effort to be friends with each other’s respective partners.

(Credit: Getty)

9. Respect given is generally given back

Respecting your partner is so important during a divorce to show that after this divorce supporting and listening to one another doesn’t stop.

10. Consistency, Routine, Trust and transparency is key

Sticking to the boundaries you’ve set and being completely honest with one another is how you have an amicable divorce.

These steps don’t stop after the divorce is final and you still have to put in work and effort to keep the relationship strong with one another.

This shows that you are one unit to your kids instead of two separate families.

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