It’s been a rollercoaster ride watching Billy Vincent and Susie Bradley’s relationship on Married at First Sight.
While the couple only entered the experiment only a week ago, it feels like we’ve known them forever and a day – and if we’re honest, it has been a little exhausting.
From their constant fighting to Susie calling Billy “darling” – we are starting to feel personally victimised by their relationship – and it’s not OK for the mind, body or soul.
In the latest instalment of the Susie/Billy show, we see Billy apologising to his wife for “all of the white lies” he’s told – except there’s one thing that is increasingly alarming about this – Billy shouldn’t be the one saying sorry.
Yesterday, Susie blew up at her husband for “fibbing” about the last time he surfed (?!) and for saying there was artificial sweetener Splenda in the cupboard when there wasn’t. Naturally, he was devastated at how he was being treated and wanted her out!
But then cut to the very next day and he is now apologising to Susie, who says to him:
“You really hurt me the way you were before. You need to make a conscious commitment not to bulls— about anything. Ever.”
Concerned about this, we spoke to Clinical and Health Psychologist Amanda Gordon to discuss exactly why Billy felt the need to back down and apologise to Susie.
“Well it all boils down to a lack of self-confidence,” Professor Gordon said.
“He may have had an experience in his past which has knocked his confidence a bit and so people like that are led to believe that maybe it is always their fault.”
“Maybe these types of people grew up in an environment where they were blamed and told it was their fault and then grew up not knowing their own reality – which is why they are prepared to accept other people’s criticisms beyond what is reasonable.”
WATCH NEXT: Billy apologises to Susie for lying.
While we can’t say for sure that this is what is happening with Billy, it is quite clear that he is trying to keep the peace with his new wife by making himself look better to a certain degree.
“Sometimes when we grow up in an environment where trying to please someone is the way to get affection; we spend our lives trying to please others,” Professor Gordon said.
“He is probably doing that in this relationship. He is trying to please her so she will love him.”
Many have called out Susie’s behaviour on the show via social media platforms, with some fans on Twitter even questioning why the MAFS production didn’t step in and stop the vile behaviour.
“Why are they letting this go on? Isn’t this emotional abuse?” a user wrote.
The way she behaves, or at least being portrayed on the show, is certainly toxic behaviour – so why does Professor Gordon think this is the case?
“Often they are people who themselves have been belittled,” she said. “And will often have someone prominent in their lives who belittled them in some way.”
“The other possibility, especially in a relationship, is that they have a ‘proforma’ – an ideal of what the relationship should be and so every time a person deviates from that ideal, they are disappointed and become critical of their partner.”
Wow! This makes a lot of sense because ever since they got married, Susie has told Billy that he is not at all what she wanted.
Watching this behaviour can be triggering for some and Professor Gordon believes that there is a way to check if you are involved in this type of toxic relationship.
“It’s always useful to check things out with others,” she said. “So if someone is accusing you of always telling white lies or something, just check with others to see if what you’re doing is within reasonable expectations.”
“A relationship should be about you feeling safe and being able to reveal yourself to that person. So if that person makes you feel worse about yourself, instead of better, you know you’re in the wrong relationship.”
Adjunct Associate Professor Amanda Gordon is a clinical psychologist of more than 25 years and the Director at Armchair Psychology.