Married At First Sight

Married at First Sight: The honeymoon is already over for Mike and Heidi

''I'm not your therapist'' and Mike, no, no, no, no...

By Anita Lyons
On Wednesday's episode of Married at First Sight we were introduced to Heidi Latcham, the 38-year-old from QLD who was paired with new husband, electrician Mike Gunner, 44.
And while the pair couldn't keep their hands off each other during their wedding (and coincidentally we just learned - in the bedroom), it seems the honeymoon is over...already.
Yup, if you've only just joined us, it took a mere 24-hours for Mike to dramatically upset his bride - and no, we cannot believe it either!
While on Honeymoon in the Whitsundays, and after sealing the deal on their wedding night, Heidi and Mike share a lovely day on their private yacht.
But when Heidi wants to get to know Mike on a deeper level, things turn a little... sour.
Mike Gunner and Heidi Latcham thought they had hit the jackpot... (Source: MAFS Instagram)
"He's so beautiful and he's so affectionate," Heidi says of her new beau as we watch her lather Mike in sunscreen.
"But I feel like I haven't had a proper time to get to know him as a whole package."
Well, Heidi, be very careful what you wish for because you're about to "get to know" Mike and we fear you may be less than enthused...
There's no escaping this one, Mike! (Source: Channel 9)
To truly gauge the gravity of how much this honeymoon is well and truly donezo, we must first give you word-for-word conversation that started it all.
"I want to tell you some things - what I need..." Heidi says.
"Just tell me," Mike interrupts and Mike, please, no.
"But I'm afraid that if I do, you'll be a bit sensitive. You'll be like you know what I mean? I want to be able to talk to you more," she continues.
"What's the problem," Mike says interrupting again and... hmmm...
"OK, so I'm not surfacey, I'm like deep deep deep in the ocean, deep, deep," Heidi explains, and Mike says "me too", obviously having no clue what she is talking about.
As Heidi continues, Mike stops his bride by patting her on the leg, and using his best kindy teacher voice says; "Let's figure out that other stuff."
Heidi looking extremely puzzled, says; "That's what we're doing," to which he responds, "Yeh, well I will work harder on that..." And if we could shake our heads any harder in desperation, we would.
Huh??? (Source: Channel 9)
But it doesn't end there, because Mike has zero idea why Heidi is feeling this way and then blames it on the fact that "men and women" do it sooo differently - and someone remove his Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus book STAT!
Heidi then explains she wants Mike to be her REAL husband, and not a fake husband like he is on the which he responds with this:
He's obviously speaking words telepathically. (Source: Channel 9)
And Heidi responds like this:
QUE???? (Source: Channel 9)
And this is B.A.D.
"You have a lovely neck," Mike than says, trying to deflect this very intense conversation, and seriously, this guy. EYE ROLL. "I want to kiss it..."
Look, we're not having "a go" at Mike, but someone really should because this is the most frustrating behaviour and it needs to end...
But this is not the end... and please, no. Make it stop - because even Mike wants it to stop and he's the ACTUAL issue.
"OK, talk to me about anything and I'll ask you more often if you are happy and you just do the same to me. That's it."
Narrator: But it wasn't "it"...
Don't be fooled by this... (Source: Channel 9)
Heidi begins to open up about her past.
She tells the story of how she was born "strong" and then moved out of home when she was in High School and lived by herself.
Mike seems receptive. It's like he actually took notes from their conversation on the boat and we think, maybe he's OK afterall...
After revealing she was in foster care and lived in government housing during her teens, Mike then says in a voice over:
"Honestly, I just lose focus after awhile." And, sorry, what?
And as Heidi continues to talk, we can see him drifting away while playing with her toes (eww).
The said "toe-playing". (Source: Channel 9)
"It's just me, I switch off when a person just keeps talking about the same thing from every angle, and I feel like I've got the point and we're going back over the same story."
"Not to say that I don't respect what she's talking about but I've kind of already got it. I don't know, I've just stopped listening. I want to listen, but I can't..." and actually, Mike. We think you can...
Mike loses his cool with Heidi and says "it's different now", but she doesn't read the room, because BAM.
"Yeh, how hot is it today..." Mike says and we're deceased and so is Heidi.
That look on Heidi's face though... (Source: Getty)
Mike then turns the tables on his bride, telling her "he's just gotta let her in".
"I'm sorry that I cut you off," he tells her (quite aggressively). "But at the start of the conversation you were coming to a point and you never quite got there, and I want to listen, I really do but I just want to come back to that point."
"Shorten these points out, that's all because it just looks like you're ranting at me."
"Wow, it's like two minutes..." she says. "Literally".
WATCH NEXT: Mike reveals his true colours
"Look, I'm not your therapist. This isn't therapy. You're just telling me, and I can't listen anymore than a couple of minutes at a time," Mike tells her and Mike, you're toast!
Because Heidi has sense, she says to him: "If we weren't on an island, I would run!"
And don't worry Heidi, we'll send you a life raft powered by Now to Love.
Of course, Twitter was NOT having any of it:
Exactly, Mike Gunner. That is exactly how you get to be 44 and single!
  • undefined: Anita Lyons