Welcome to night three of the Married At First Sight marathon premiere week.
What a wild ride it’s been so far.
Do you have a Married at First Sight tip or know one of the participants? Email us with your tip-off at [email protected]
From the nation’s collective thirst for Jessika’s bad boy brother Rhyce, to the most cringe-worthy best man speech we’ve ever heard and of course, the unique gift that is participant Dino, season six is going above and beyond expectations.
And just when we thought the series could deliver any more jaw-dropping moments, we meet 41-year-old personal trainer Mark.
Cue the violin music as Mark tells us about his backstory.
“Everything in my life is pretty much spot-on and perfect. Got my hair… little bit grey but I’ve got my hair! Decent set of teeth I’ve been told. The only thing that’s missing is a partner,” he proudly proclaims.
Adding: “I’ve never been in love and I’ve never said that word in a relationship capacity. And I’ve never had the word love said to me, either,” the ex-army vet explains, before revealing his former profession in the army meant he was too displaced to ever settle down.
Are you weeping yet because we are?
Meet Mark, he’s never dropped the L bomb. (Image: Channel Nine)
Mark eventually decided he needed a career change so he quit the army, moved to Melbourne and started working as a PT.
So far, so good. Things are looking up for our blessed lonely heart!
But now he takes us for a tour of his pokey one-bedroom apartment and there is A LOT to digest.
The 41-year-old used to work in the army. (Image: Channel Nine)
Welcome to Casa Mark, where to-do lists on a whiteboard count as art work. (Image: Channel Nine)
“There are some nights that I get lonely,” he explains as he reclines on his IKEA couch and looks blankly at his to-do list, which is written on a white board and states he needs to clean the house, buy food and find a wife.
“I’ve lived on my own for a long period of time so I don’t have a kettle, I don’t have an iron. I’ve got one plastic cup in my house. I’ve got one plate and there’s plenty of room in the dishwasher for two,” Mark admits and goodbye, goodnight that’s us DONE.
While the producers probably couldn’t believe their luck at stumbling across this sorry scene, it’s just too heartbreaking to actually comprehend.
WATCH: Married At First Sight‘s Mark reveals he’s never been in love. Post continues…
Behold, the most talked-about cup in the country right now. (Image: Channel Nine)
Send help… And crockery. (Image: Channel Nine)
And we have so many questions:
How many years old is that plastic cup?
Did it come with a set, or did he just buy it solo?
How often does it get washed?
Does he have a wine glass, or does he just reuse the blue cup?
What happens if he has a friend over and they both want a drink?
Why does he have a dishwasher if only has two items to clean?
Is the cup indicative of his bedroom set-up, does he have a king single bed?
Mark’s home looks straight out of the pages of an IKEA catalogue. (Image: Channel Nine)
Mark’s house of horrors looks perfectly normal from the outside but what lies beneath will disturb you. (Image: Channel Nine)
The fact Mark has bared the most vulnerable parts of his soul only to be matched with Ning, who takes one look at him and decides she doesn’t want a bar of him before treating him like a piece of sh–t throughout their wedding day makes this whole situation even more unbearable.
Mark, you are too pure for this show.
Please let me take you on a shopping trip to Kmart where we can peruse the homewares section to your heart’s content.
We weren’t the only ones not coping with Mark’s questionable living situation and his awkward first meeting with Ning, Australia had a lot of hilarious reactions too…
Want more MAFS goss? We’ve got you covered!
Meet the brides and grooms of Married At First Sight 2019
Exactly where to follow the Married At First Sight 2019 contestants on Instagram
EXCLUSIVE: MAFS’s Nasser Sultan’s blunt advice to 2019 contestants
Married At First Sight stars: Where are they now?
Which Married At First Sight 2018 couples are still together?
Is Married At First Sight legal in Australia? Why the Marriage Act makes things complicated
And for more Married at First Sight exclusive content and goss, listen to the MAFS Confessional podcast, dropping this Thursday!
.png?resize=380%2C304&ssl=1)