Dear 2019 MAFS contestants,
Congratulations on making it onto one of TV's most dysfunctional shows!
Every secret you've ever had is about to be exposed, your life put into other people's hands and, in the time it takes you to read this letter, your marriage will probably be over.
But by God you're going to have some fun!
So what is the best advice I, Nasser, can offer you?
Wipe your Instagram, get a new Facebook account and request every dick pic you've dared to send, to come back.
The things you don't even remember typing will soon come back to haunt you, so get rid of it... ASAP!
You thought filming went well? It's never going to turn out the way you expected.
The producers will have the final say in how you come across and there's nothing you can do about it.
Well, he thought he'd walk away from our season a hero for managing a marriage to Tracey for so long but he became Australia's most hated man in a split second.
I was edited as a villain because I didn't want to sleep with my wife who happened to wear a wig. She didn't want to sleep with me either, but that magical edit made it seem like she was longing for little Nass to make a cameo.
They're clever... You're probably in the midst of being manipulated right now and have no idea.
All I can say is: just go along with it.
WATCH NEXT: Married at First Sight's Nasser's breakdown during home stays
So here's my advice...
If you're the villain, be the worst villain that show has ever seen. Your life is now a pantomime so you may as well put on a show.
If you fancy making some money, book every personal appearance, opening of an envelope and Z-list event you can manage - remember, you will want to stay relevant.
If you want to stay in the spotlight, turn your Instagram into one big advert while people are still paying for you to post about their teeth whitener.
Because once the next season arrives. It's over.
Think your famous now? Every day your fame becomes less and less and people will start to forget you.
Milk it as much as you can.
Sadly you'll never be as famous as Nasser, I'm one of a kind - but if you take my advice, you'll last longer than most of your co-stars.
And remember - once that first episode airs, it's GAME ON.
Lots of love,
P.S It's likely you're going to hate your new husband/wife after a couple of days, so try and seal the deal on the first night while you still kind of enjoy each other's company...