Buckle in. It's a long one!
Tuesday's episode of Married at First Sight was by far the most explosive yet and it wasn't just because we were privy to the morning after the Sam and Ines' tryst.
For their final night on the Gold Coast, the experiment saw our brides and grooms separated for some much anticipated "gender-bonding".
And while the men engaged in the ultimate group bromance, the women… well... suffice to say, they probably should not have been left alone together.
So what had the ladies in a tizz? Lizzie's arrival back in the experiment of course!
After missing last week's commitment ceremony and the beginning of the Gold Coast holiday due to illness, Lizzie surprised her husband just moments after he'd (presumably) had slept with another woman.
So when she arrived at the dinner party, where said woman was also attending, there were immediate fireworks.
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Lizzie explained to the group that returning to Sam definitely had its (many) issues, including the pressure to keep him happy because she "made him stay".
After deciding to show Sam affection, he apparently said to her, "I don't want affection from you!'"
"But if you're hooking up, why is he not feeling it?" Ines asks during the story. "Didn't you say you guys were like kissing and stuff?"
And then this:
The girls then tell Lizzie what Sam said at the commitment ceremony about her being the one that "ate his face off" (and eww, who does that?), to which Lizzie says:
"That is total bulls—t. Yeah we hooked up, but it was both reciprocated. He put his thumb in my mouth."
"I think Elizabeth is lying," Ines says to the cameras. "Sam definitely didn't put his fingers in her mouth. There's no way I'd buy that sh—,ay! Like I can't wait to ask him."
In the biggest case of pot calling kettle black, Ines tells Lizzie:
"Your relationship will never workout because you come here, you disrespect him," she says.
"I don't know if he does the same because I don't really speak to him…
"Like when you're with someone, you should bring out beautiful qualities in each other." Cough. Cough.
Heidi, defending Lizzie says, "but sometimes you can have little obstacles…" to which Ines interrupts saying, "But sometimes the things you say, like they're low blows."
"What about the sh—t you said to Bronson?" Cyrell says defending her mate, Lizzie. "Don't have a go at her."
One half of the only sane couple in this season, Jules, smells a rat and point blank asks Ines if she "fancies Sam".
Of course, our Ines is on the defence in a big way.
"I don't know him well enough," she says and after probing is forced to respond: "This is nonsense!" "Nonsense!!!"
She finally answers the question - obviously, with a "no". And precisely not one other person is buying it.
Later, Ines discusses the accusations with the camera.
"Where are they getting these assumptions from? Maybe they think 'hot, hot', looks good together. Sexy."
And no Ines. No one is thinking that.
WATCH NEXT: Sam throws Ines on the bed like a rag doll!
Story continues after video
After Lizzie realises that one gal is missing (Lauren), the topic turns to social anxiety.
As brutal as ever, Ines says: "Why would you care?" And Ines. Everyone cares!
"HEY! That's out of line!" Lizzie yells at Ines. "That's just something you don't touch on girl! That's low, that is extremely low. Look at your smile, that is low!"
"You should feel ashamed of yourself," Lizzie says."That's mental illness you don't f ----ng touch on that."
Ines then tells Lizzie that she has suffered PTSD her whole life to which Lizzie screams: "So you should have some understanding then!
"Babe! Use your bloody brain!"
"Elizabeth is just dying for a fight. But I just stare at her and I'm like, if you ever think that I'm going to drop to your pathetic level, like you are out of your mind!" Ines says.
And as Mel so eloquently puts it… "So anywho…"
It is now painfully obvious that Ines and Elizabeth aren't going to clap hands and braid each other's hair, because in the final round of this epic battle, Cyrell tells Lizzie that there are rumours about Ines and Sam.
"While you were away, I just heard that Ines has been hanging out in the sauna with Sam," Cyrell tells her. "That's all. Whether they kissed or hooked up. I don't know."
And everybody in Australia right now:
So of course Lizzie decides to "call her out right now" and jeezus, will this ever end?
"INES! Did you hook up with Sam in the sauna?" she yells across the bar.
"Don't raise your voice at me. Be a civil, decent human being."
Lizzie asks Ines why she "attacked her when she first came in" and why she was so opinionated.
Ines calls her a "walking problem" and is this over yet?
Honestly, the rest is super tit for tat. Ines calls Lizzie a "cockatoo with her claws out" and then Cyrell gets involved.
And if you had a shred of respect left for Ines, she blows it by gaslighting Lizzie after she tries to apologise.
"That's like the second time you've had to apologise to me for like the way [you speak to me]."
And lord have mercy.
All we can do is sit back with a bag of popcorn and watch it unfold.
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Australian Women's WeeklyYesterday 10:05am