Comedian and radio presenter Em Rusciano has tragically come face to face with something too many mums-to-be are forced to deal with: she has sadly miscarried.
Taking to Facebook to reveal the heartbreaking news, Em, 38, says she is going to take some time off from her radio show and performing as “she can’t imagine ever leaving my bedroom again”.
“About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise. I found out I was pregnant,” the Facebook post began.
“I was going to announce it this Monday as we’d hit 13 weeks, but instead I will be at home in the most exquisite pain I can possibly fathom. Yesterday I found out that my little boy, was lost to me.”
She then went on to say: “I’m not sure I’m built to withstand this kind of heart break, I’m not sure any Mother is.”
“A lot of you know exactly what I’m going through, this kind of loss isn’t uncommon and yet it feels entirely unique to me,” she continues.
“I think you all heroic for continuing on, I’ve been in the same pair of pyjamas since yesterday, crying a seemingly endless supply of tears and can’t imagine ever leaving my bedroom again.”
“That’s not to be now.”
The mum-of-two goes on to say that she and her partner Scotty decided to name their little boy Ray, and that Scott has “been an enormous source of comfort and strength” during this painfully sad time.
“What’s happened with Ray feels big and raw and something I need to honour and be in the middle of,” she writes.
“I’m not going to avoid it or lock it away and power on as if nothing has happened, which I’m prone to doing. I have to get this right so that I can somehow feel whole again, or a version of that. I know that this will forever change me in small and big ways.”
And Em would like every mother who has been through what she is going through it know that she finds their strength stoic and admirable, and needs to know how they did it.
“To the Mothers who have gone through this kind of loss and found a way out of it, I’m in awe of you, I need to know how you got through it because I need to see some light under the door soon,” she says.
“To our little Ray, you were already so loved by your Mum and Dad and your big sisters. Such an unexpected and welcome surprise for us, I wish we had more time with you, I truly do.”
**If you or someone you know has experience a miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death and would like to talk to someone about it, contact Sands Australia on (03) 9895 8700 or visit their website: sands.org.au.