Real Life

Sexier than ever after 60! The simple tricks to ramp up your love-life

The sexperts tell all!
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It’s often thought that when women reach a certain age – usually around the time menopause hits – sex goes out the window.

But that couldn’t be further from the hot and heavy truth!

To start spicing up your time between the sheets, sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell and sexologist Juliet Allen explain how to embrace your sexuality later in life.

Sex doesn’t go out the window once you turn 60!

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Menopause isn’t the end

“There are changes that go on [after menopause] and your body is not the same as it was, but that doesn’t mean you’re no longer a robust, sexual being,” says Cyndi.

“The changes in our hormones mean that we might experience things like vaginal dryness and less tone in the pelvic floor – but these things can be assisted.

“Yoga and Pilates are fantastic for your sex-life, as well as investing in a good-quality, silicone lubricant. Glycerin and parabens are ingredients you want to avoid. They are sticky and can cause yeast infections and other unpleasant side effects.”

Work up a sweat.

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Don’t wait to be ‘in the mood’

“If you think you’re not in the mood for sex or you can’t be bothered because it’s too much effort, do it anyway – give it a go,” Cyndi says.

“What science tells us is that once we start, as long as it’s pleasurable, the ‘mood’ will come. It might take 20 or 30 minutes, but that’s okay!

It’s not about racing to orgasm.

Think about what turns you on. It could be reading an erotic novel, watching porn or fantasising about the postman. Allow your imagination to run wild.”

Put yourself in the mood.

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Add more excitement

“If you’re in a relationship, set aside a ‘date night’ once a week,” Juliet says. “Find ways to enjoy sex that isn’t necessarily in the bedroom.

“For example, you may have a picnic at the beach and then go for a walk and find a quiet spot to simply kiss. Or you might like to spice it up and enjoy oral sex in the car. Have fun and get creative!”

Have date nights once a week in a bid to spice things up.

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Show yourself some love

“If you haven’t spent much time masturbating throughout the course of your life, start now,” Cyndi says.

“There’s a fantastic book called The Ultimate Guide To Sex After 50, by Joan Price. Every woman in Australia needs a copy!

“Joan is a strong advocate of learning how to masturbate. The whole purpose of masturbation – whether you’re in a relationship or single – is finding what you enjoy. If you don’t know what you like, you’re not going to be able to share that with someone else.”

Show yourself some love.

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Incorporate toys

“If you’ve never owned a sex toy, buy one,” Cyndi advises. “It doesn’t matter if you’re single or have a partner. If you feel uncomfortable going into adult shops, there are online retailers that sell wonderful products, too.

“Seniors want to consider the size of the [toy’s] buttons because if you’ve got arthritis in your hands, teeny-tiny buttons aren’t going to be good for you.

“Maybe look for something with a longer handle, so it’s easier to use and not too heavy. And look for something that doesn’t require too much aftercare.”

Try toys.

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Get educated

“Read books about sex and intimacy, attend workshops, and find great sex blogs online,” says Juliet.

“It’s important that we continually educate ourselves about sex so we can open our eyes to new ways of relating and spicing things up!

“And talk to your partner about your desires, your boundaries, and what you do and don’t enjoy.”

Be open with your partner.

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Did you know?

Naughty novel Fifty Shades Of Grey topped bestseller lists around the world, selling over 125 million copies worldwide by June 2015.

It set a record in the UK as the fastest-selling paperback book of all time!

Munch your mind strong!

Ruth Samer, founder of Care For Family, reveals which foods protect our brain!

Green leafy vegetables

Developed by researchers at Rush University Medical Centre in Chicago, the MIND diet – which focuses on healthy food groups for the brain – recommends green leafy vegetables. Kale, spinach, broccoli and other greens are packed with vitamins A and C.


Blueberries are one of the more potent foods for protecting the brain. Strawberries have also shown benefits in past studies looking at the effect of food on cognitive function.

Olive oil

According to the MIND diet, olive oil beats other forms of cooking oil and fats. The researchers found that people who used olive oil as their primary oil saw greater protection against cognitive decline.

Get drizzling with that olive oil!

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Whole grains

Whole grains are a key component of the MIND diet. It recommends at least three servings a day.


Eating fish at least once a week helps protect brain function.

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