After going straight from university to a career in information technology, I was looking for a bit of a change in my life. I was making good money and had lots of friends, but something was missing – adventure!
I’d always had a romantic fascination with the outback. With dreams of working hard on the land and meeting a muscled jackaroo, I decided to drop everything in my life and head to the country, to see where life would take me.
With the help of a job agency, I found myself working on a cattle farm in south-west Queensland, doing household and general maintenance duties. While it wasn’t the glamorous adventure I was after, I grew close to the family and tight-knit community, and made some true friends.
Because I was a good rider and was so enthusiastic, I was given the opportunity to join one of the scheduled musters.
It was there I met Max. He was everything I’d fantasised about – strong, dark, handsome and mysterious. A popular guy, he also had a reputation as a “bad boy”, leaving a string of devastated women in his wake.
I vowed not to get involved with such a heartbreaker, but one night I became quite drunk and found myself talking to him for hours. We then headed back to his tent for the most amazing night I’ve ever had.
The next morning I awoke to find myself alone. Outside I overheard Max talking to the other men in the crew. He was describing the night he’d just spent with me in great detail, making it clear I was an easy conquest and average in bed.
His remarks were greeted with laughter and degrading comments. For the remaining weeks of the muster, Max gave me the silent treatment, while I suffered patronising leers from the rest of the crew.
By the time we returned, my feelings of stupidity and shame had turned to anger and I was plotting revenge.
I told friends that, during the muster, Max confided in me that he was gay. The women he slept with, I said, were an effort to distract people from his real sexuality, and his frequent trips into town were to cruise gay bars for anonymous sex.
Word spread quickly in the small farming community. The men were disgusted, and the women humiliated and angry. My plan worked beautifully – now it was Max who had to put up with the crude comments.
In fact, my plan worked too well. Since moving home, I’ve learnt Max had to move states to escape the rumours. No-one believed his denials, his friends shunned him and he had trouble getting work locally.
Teaching Max a lesson had a much bigger impact on his life than I ever dreamt or wanted. Now I have to live with that guilt.
