Big debate: finding out the sex of your baby

Can't decide if you want to find out your baby's gender? Here, two mums give their opinions for and against.


“It’s a surprise – just earlier”

Amanda Hernandez, 35, is from Dernancourt, SA. She found out the sex for her children Jacob, 2, and Zachariah, 9 weeks

We found out the sex for both of our babies and told everyone. We had picked names for a girl and a boy prior, but we didn’t share the name with everyone until they were born.

It’s still a surprise, just a little earlier. It’s also fantastic being able to refer to them as a ‘he’ or ‘she’ instead of an ‘it’. I don’t like referring to someone as an ‘it’. We loved calling our children by their names in utero. I think knowing the sex helped our first born prepare for the arrival of his little brother. And of course there’s the benefit of getting the room and clothes ready, but this wasn’t a motivating factor for us.

But you have to be prepared that some people you tell the sex to don’t actually want to know. I had to tell people because I wanted to refer to the baby as a ‘he’, so would have let it slip anyway. One person responded that we’d spoiled the surprise — the surprise for who? It’s our surprise, not theirs, and we chose when we wanted the surprise!

As with everything though, it’s a completely personal decision, and other people should respect that decision as it’s not their decision to make.


“I loved waiting”

Glenda Bray, 35, is from Boronia, Vic. She chose to wait until the birth of Isabella, 7, Alexandra, 5, and Fraser, 1

With all three of my babies I didn’t find out! Not once was I even curious to know. It was just something I really didn’t want to know until he or she arrived. At every ultra sound I made sure the sonographer knew not to give anything away.

In saying that though, my husband really wanted to find out. I figured he had just as much right to find out the sex as I did not to! So he found out with our first and third baby. The sonographer wrote down our first baby’s gender on a piece of paper and he kept it with him all the time. With our second baby, he didn’t want to find out. But with our third baby he did again and the sonographer made me close my eyes at the scan and then pointed to a male doll in the room.

My husband was very good at keeping it a secret, although at times he would slip with a ‘she’ here and there, but then next time he slipped up he said ‘he’ so I was completely unaware.

It was great that he had his own very special part of the pregnancy that he could enjoy. After all, I got to feel every movement, kick and the joys of growing a person in my belly. For him it was just as special having something of our pregnancy that no one else had.

That moment at the birth of discovering my child’s sex just made the whole amazing experience that extra bit more wonderful for me.

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