Well that escalated quickly…
While we're still reeling from the bombshell that was the 2018 Bachelor finale, it's safe to say the drama will keep on rolling with possibly the most dramatic first episode of The Bachelorette EVER!
Our leading lady Ali Oetjen, 32, has been presented with some very interesting characters and boy oh boy they did not disappoint.
There was a giant teddy bear, terrible dancing, awkward chat, stirring of the pot and possibly the most self-absorbed contestant we've ever seen on the franchise – and frankly, we are totally here for it.
So without delay, let's recap the three biggest bombshells of episode one!
The game-changing rose that shook the mansion
During Nick Cummins quest for love in The Bachelor, we were introduced to "the key" – a world-wide Bachelor first that granted one lucky lady (Brooke Blurton) one-time access to the "Bachelor Pad".
For this season of The Bachelorette, the producers went with a different approach.
"This is the wild rose," host Osher Gunsberg told the new group of suitors, holding up a soft pink rose. "Think of it as a wild card. You get to play it one time and one time only."
You may be having flashbacks to Richie Strachan's season where he had the penultimate "white rose" which gave one of his bachelorettes a private area to be used throughout the entire season. Well, keep up, because this one is 'soft pink' and is not like that at all.
"What it does,[is] it allows you to swap yourself into a single date that Ali has already invited another man to attend," Osher told the bachelors while their audible gasps and distress echoed through the mansion.
"There goes the bro code," one of the men said and actually, it's not such a bad thing.
So who was the lucky guy to receive the "Wild Rose" and why did Ali choose him?
During the premiere cocktail party, one thing is for sure, 31-year-old Bill Goldsmith is well placed as a front runner. When he finally got his chance for some one-on-one time, the pair spoke about their hopes and dreams for the future.
We learned that Bill is (a) a gentleman who gives up his coat (because this was filmed in a wintery ice palace) (b) his parents have been married for 34 years and (c) he's speaking Ali's 'settle down now' language.
"I want someone that's really committed," Ali said. "Someone that is really kind, and someone that's a good person."
"A big thing that I've definitely gone through in the last couple of months is, trusting again."
"I've obviously been in relationships and heartbroken and been hurt," Bill said. "I think the biggest thing you've got to take out of heartbreak is you learn something from that and it moulds and creates the person you are today and you wouldn't be who you are today without going through that pain."
Is this guy real?
So obviously, he ticks every box that Ali has ever had and so without question, she gave him the "Wild Rose".
Which brings us to the next bombshell which also involves Bill…
The first kiss(es) of the season
And in a Bachelorette first, Ali dished out the very first kiss of the season at the very first cocktail party!
Yup, (unicorn) Bill from Victoria was given not one, not two but FOUR kisses on the lips. GASP!
While it wasn't your run of the mill passionate make-out session with operatic music we've grown to know and love from our suitors, it was enough to rattle the other men in the mansion.
With the other 17 men looking on, it was no wonder they were feeling exceptionally deflated by the whole experience.
Especially, our new mate Paddy Collier, a 27 year-old gym manager from Victoria who was sure the "wild rose" and no doubt subsequent everything else would go to him.
"The bro code is gone, mate that's out the window!," Paddy said. "There's going to be some sly dogs that slide in there and try to get that Wild Rose.
"I'm not going to lie. I would love to have it and steal a date off someone."
And speaking of Paddy…
Paddy and his, well ah, attitude for life + the argument
Honestly, we did not expect such drama from the first evening, especially with a bunch of men, but with Paddy Collier in the mix, life has certainly got a whole lot more…exciting.
While Ali was yo-yoed between the affections of each man, tensions began to rise between the men, because, ya know, testosterone.
While 23-year-old Nathan Favro bumbled his way around "being in it for the right reasons" and wanting to party like it was 1999, our new mate Paddy decided to stir the pot by interrupting their chat.
Nathan was not happy Jan and outside told his new "bros" all about it.
"He likes to be the centre of attention," Nathan told the Honey Badger look-a-like Ben Adamson,26. "But I feel like I have a better chance with Ali and he's feeling a bit threatened by that."
"I don't rate him," Ben said, to which Nathan replied: "I don't rate him either. He's an idiot".
This conversation was of course overheard by suitor Pete, the 27-year-old commercial sales agent from QLD, who took it upon himself to dob on Nathan and continue stirring ye olde pot.
"To be honest, Nathan is being a bit disrespectful talking about Paddy like that. I'm going to have to tell Paddy and s--- going to hit the fan basically. It's going to cause some pretty good entertainment."
(Eye roll, but also - thank you for the drama.)
And then it was ON like Donkey Kong. Paddy was "fumin'".
"I don't take any s--- and I want to get to the bottom of what he's being saying and whether or not it was true or not. If it is, it won't end well that's for sure."
"Me and you need to have a chat," Paddy said to Nathan. "So a few of the boys are saying you're talking s--- about me. I just want to know if it's true."
"Are you taking the piss out of me right now?" Nathan responded (because, 'Straya).
"If it was true you can say it right to my face," Paddy said.
"Bra, you need to relax eh." Nathan responded - and bros, you ALL need to relax.
Just when we thought it was all over red rover, Paddy let his mouth run all over the place, into the woods, and back again, disrespectfully calling Ali "fit AF".
And that's when "daddy" Damien Rider, 42, decided to step in, having precisely none of it.
"Look, it's an awesome night that we're all having here," he said. "But some of the things that you're saying when you're talking about Ali is not sitting right."
"Who is this saying this?" Paddy asked, missing the entire point.
"I'm saying this," Damien said.
"Well that's my personality bro," Paddy responded, and then made a remark about how Damien was not his father.
Meanwhile, there's Peter sitting in a corner, holding a massive spoon he's been stirring the pot with.
"I'm just sitting back enjoying the show," he said. Us too, Pete. Us too.
What a banger! If this is a taste of what's to come – we can't wait!
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