The Bachelor Australia

The Bachelor Australia premiere: The funniest, wildest, most WTF moments

Thank you Nick Cummins for just existing.

By Bella Brennan

No more sleeps, The Bachelor Australia 2018 is officially here.

And The Bachelor Australia premiere did not disappoint.

As promised, Nick Cummins is the biggest breath of fresh air to grace the franchise and the Honey Badger's intuitive nature and cheeky personality has wooed all of Australia.

To celebrate, we've rounded up the funniest moments from tonight's Bachelor premiere!

1. Gird your loins, there's A LOT of steamy moments ahead

We counted at least three different make-out sessions between Nick Cummins and several mystery women in the opening teaser showing what we can expect this season.

From a beach-side romp, to a steamy pool pash - our Bachelor isn't afraid to get down and dirty with his female flames.

Pwoah! This could be the cover of an erotic fiction book.
Pwoah! This could be the cover of an erotic fiction book.
Nick's biceps are almost too big to fit in the frame here.
Nick's biceps are almost too big to fit in the frame here.
Wow... Just wow!
Wow... Just wow!

2. When Nick took Shannon for a "lap" to calm her nerves… and compared her to a thoroughbred horse

You can hardly blame the human ray of sunshine that is Shannon for feeling a bit jittery after meeting Nick on the red carpet.

Proving he really is in tune with female energies, Nick decided to take "Shaz" for a "trot" to help calm her jitters.

"I'm sh-----g my dacks," the 25-year-old admits.

"I'm feeling nervous too! You know horses before they race? They take them for a walk and then everything cools down! Being a thoroughbred yourself..." Nick says as he leads Shannon around the candle-lit garden for a soothing potter.

"You're awesome, I love you," Shaz tells Nick as he takes her on a anti-anxiety walk.
"You're awesome, I love you," Shaz tells Nick as he takes her on a anti-anxiety walk.

3. Is Cayla's love rock the new pot plant of 2018?

What's a season of The Bachelor without an energy healer?

Enter Cayla, who is into crystals and punctuating every sentence with the word "legit."

Rocking up with a very revealing slit at the front of her dress and a rose quartz crystal, which she recently purchased to help "attract love and marriage", the 27-year-old selflessly gifts the gemstone to Nick, instructing him to keep it by his bed at the Bachelor mansion.

"I bought this for myself around six weeks ago to attract love and marriage. I'm gifting it to you to wish you luck on your journey," she says.

Will Cayla's love rock win Nick over?
Will Cayla's love rock win Nick over?
After a slight wardrobe malfunction, Cayla recovered to make a lasting first impression.
After a slight wardrobe malfunction, Cayla recovered to make a lasting first impression.

4. When Nick was reunited with his former flame Cass Wood

After we learnt Nick and Cass dated in the real world, we've all been waiting for their red carpet reunion.

And it was equal parts awkward and electrifying, proving there's a definite spark still lingering.

"We know each other pretty well. We had a couple of dates. The timing wasn't right because she was doing her thing, I was doing my thing," Nick admits.

They've still got it! It doesn't take a body language expert to see Nick and Cass have a spark.
They've still got it! It doesn't take a body language expert to see Nick and Cass have a spark.

5. When "Dasha from Russia" dry-humped Nick

Look, she may have literally leapt onto the Honey Badger with her er, beaver on his face but kudos to Dasha for mixing things up and giving us the most memorable red carpet arrival of the night.

"I totally used that one just to touch you," she cackles.

And something tells us Nick didn't mind one iota.

The old "I'll jump on you and do some sit-ups" trick works every time!
The old "I'll jump on you and do some sit-ups" trick works every time!
Side note: We're very impressed with Dasha's core strength.
Side note: We're very impressed with Dasha's core strength.

6. When Cat called Sophie a basic b---h

And we have our first manufactured fight of the season with Cass labelling Sophie a "basic b---h" for allegedly dating her ex.

"I think Nick will think she's a basic bitch who doesn't have much to offer," Cass fumes.

Cass isn't a fan of Sophie's.
Cass isn't a fan of Sophie's.
Sophie is alleged to have dated Cass' ex just before entering the Bachelor mansion.
Sophie is alleged to have dated Cass' ex just before entering the Bachelor mansion.

7. Cayla's stunt bombed out

In a desperate attempt to get Nick's attention, Cayla decides to jump into the pool.

The deafening sound of crickets can be heard as her snarky co-stars tell her: "Way to ruin a good dress, babe!"

"He's not going to give that drowned rat a rose," Blair adds.

It's a fizzer, sorry Cayla.
It's a fizzer, sorry Cayla.

8. So long, farewell to Urszula, Autumn, Susie

Gone too soon!

But also, onya Nick for chopping three babes on night one.

RIP to the night one evictees.
RIP to the night one evictees.

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