Parenting

My husband is trying to force me to go through with a pregnancy

What happens when you don’t want a baby but your husband does.
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A mum to a toddler with a husband who works long hours, in a demanding job, is essentially parenting solo. She loves her child but does not want another one anytime soon.

“I’m pregnant again. I do not want this baby,” the 31-year-old explained on a Reddit forum where she is seeking advice.

“I want time to heal and recover from this difficult year, I want to enjoy my child that I have, I want to reconnect with my husband.”

Her husband is deeply against terminating the pregnancy.

“He does not understand the depression, loneliness, and anxiety that motherhood has caused me. He wants this baby, and he wants me to want it, too.”

An unwanted pregnancy can be heartbreaking. (Image: Getty Images)

The couple have seen a therapist and she has confided in trusted friends.

“I know this is ultimately my decision, but I am almost sure that my marriage will either be over if I abort, or I will be wounded in a way I cannot heal if I have it,” she writes.

Several Reddit users suggested the couple look at options to change their lifestyle so she can be further supported.

“Could you downsize your life in order for him to have a less demanding and likely lower paying job?” one asks. “I don’t think it’s fair for him to expect you to have this baby and struggle on your own again. He needs to make some adjustments to accommodate your needs too.”

“If your income is high enough for an au pair, I think that would be such a great help,” another suggests.

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Most of the advice offered on the forum was supportive, constructive and for the woman posting, presented her with a lot of view points to consider.

Deciding to terminate a pregnancy can be heartbreaking and it’s a decision women never want to be faced with making.

“He can’t force you to keep the child. You can’t force him to be OK with you terminating it. Whatever you do there will be consequences,” one user commented matter-of-factly.

For reliable, unbiased information about abortion in your state or territory, you can contact:

Family Planning Alliance Australia

Marie Stopes Australia

Australian Women’s Health Network

Children by Choice (Queensland)

1800MyOptions (Victoria)

You can also discuss your options with your doctor or call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby on 1800 882 436 to speak with a maternal child health nurse for information and support.

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