Anatoria, 31, shares her heartbreaking story
The front door opened and my husband, Jason, walked in.
“Daddy!” our kids Zaraiyah-Lily, four, and Andreas, three, squealed, hugging him.
Jason, a fly-in fly-out machine operator, didn’t see the kids – known as Lily and Dre – for weeks on end. They missed him like crazy – He was such a doting and fun-loving dad.
That afternoon he watched Frozen with Lily, and wrestled with Dre on the living room floor.
“I’m missing out on so much,” he sighed.
I really felt for him. He deserved to spend more time with them.
Jason had been a loving dad to our kids.
“Why don’t I see if I can get a FIFO job and you have a turn at being home with the kids?” I suggested.
“Really?” he said, grinning. “I’d love that!”
I found a job as a cleaner at a gas plant in Onslow, about 1400km north of our home in Perth. The roster was four weeks on, one week off.
I missed the kids so much; Lily was smart and bubbly, a real chatterbox and obsessed with the film Frozen.
Dre was a mischievous little ball of energy who thought he was Spider-Man.
He looked up to Lily, who could get him to stop running around for a minute so they could play teachers – of course, she was always in charge.
After talking to the kids and Jason in the evening, I sometimes joined the work crew for a drink.
After talking to the kids and Jason in the evening, I sometimes joined the work crew for a drink, there wasn’t much else to do there and they were a great bunch of girls and guys.
After one night out, I posted a picture of the gang on Facebook.
“Who are all those guys?” Jason asked next time we spoke on the phone. I explained who was who, but the questions kept coming.
“Why do you have to go out to drinks with everyone all the time?” he asked.
“You work with them all day and then you’re out all night.”
“It’s just an after-work drink!” I said, I was hardly out partying!
I couldn’t believe Jason thought I was up to no good.
“Nothing’s going on,” I repeatedly reassured him.
His insecurity shocked me. I hadn’t seen this jealous streak in him before.
As time went on, he became more aggressive about it. He swore at me and called me a liar.
“I won’t go out as much, then,” I sighed, desperate to apease him.
On the rare occasion I’d have a night out after work, he’d go crazy, screaming down the phone at me.
Jason and me on our wedding day – I didn’t know he had a jealous streak!
Soon, I’d had enough: “We can’t carry on like this.”
I flew home to try to work through our problems and Jason insisted I stay with an aunt.
“I know you’re going to try to take the kids from me,” he ranted.
“Jason, this is about us, not the kids,” I replied.
But I did as he asked and he brought the kids over to see me every few days. They seemed fine, but Jason barely spoke.
A few weeks later, we met at Princess Margaret Hospital. Dre had a rare anaemia condition and needed a routine blood transfusion.
“I’m happy you’re here,” Jason said, smiling.
I thought we were making progress, but he refused to discuss how we were going to share parenting. Not wanting an argument in front of the kids, I didn’t push it.
After Dre’s transfusion, Jason asked me to go back home with him. I agreed, eager for precious time with the children.
But in Jason’s car I felt uncomfortable. He exuded an eerie sense of calm and suddenly I felt scared of him – I asked him to drop me at a shopping centre instead.
“Mummy will see you on her birthday,” I said to the kids, kissing them goodbye. It was three days away.
As Jason drove off, I realised I was shaking violently – I just had a horrible feeling that he really wanted to hurt me.
Later that night, Jason called.
“I’m going to break your heart into 50 million pieces,” he snarled. “Say goodbye to your kids. This is the last time you’re going to speak to them.”
My stomach lurched and my heart hammered in my chest. He was going to run away with the kids!
Jason switched the phone to speaker.
“Hello, Mummy,” Lily and Dre chimed.
I started to cry. “I love you, Lily, I love you, Dre,” I choked.
I really believed I might not see the kids now for months, years even.
My two bright, bubbly babies.
“Bye, my darlings,” I wept.
“Bye, Mummy,” they said.
I could hear the happiness in their voices.
Jason came back on. “So that’s it,” he said.
Then he giggled and hung up. That laugh sent a cold shiver down my spine, it sounded so evil. Would Jason really hurt the kids?
I was frantic with worry so I drove to nearby Joondalup Police Station to report my concerns. An officer rang Jason.
“The kids are fine,” the officer reassured me. “I could hear them in the background.”
He said they’d do a face- to-face check, too. Later, the cop called back.
He hadn’t been able to find Jason but he’d got him on the phone. He’d agreed to bring the kids to the police station but hadn’t turned up.
“Stay where you are,” the policeman said. “We’ll keep looking.”
My mind was racing as I clutched my phone, waiting for them to ring back. At 3.30am an officer rang and said detectives were on the way.
He wouldn’t say anymore. Jason’s hurt himself, I thought.
I answered the door to three detectives. I looked past them, expecting to see Dre and Lily but they weren’t there.
I started to panic.
“Where are my kids?” I asked.
The officers ushered me inside and one of them went to wake up the friend I was staying with.
“I’m so sorry, Mrs Headland,” one of the officers said.“Both of your children have been killed by your husband.”
“No!” I screamed, my legs buckling beneath me. My body and brain shut down.
I could see vague outlines of people talking at me, but I couldn’t hear anything. It felt unreal, like a living nightmare.
I was taken to hospital in shock. It was only when my relatives started turning up in tears that the truth hit me with the force of a bombshell.
My children had been murdered by their daddy. My body shook with sobs. I’d never felt pain like it.
The next day, detectives told me they’d charged Jason with Lily and Dre’s murder; He’d given them sleeping tablets and suffocated them while they slept, then he cowardly tried to kill himself with a knife.
My mum and grandmother flew in from New Zealand to support me.
“How could he do this?” they sobbed.
“To punish me,” I cried.
It was a week before I got to see the children because of tests and autopsies.They were laid out side by side in the funeral parlour.
I kissed their precious faces. “I love you so much,” I choked.
Hundreds of people came to their funeral. Dre had a Spider-Man coffin and Lily’s was Frozen-themed.
They were buried beside each other while Let It Go from Frozen was played. I had to be held up by my family – I wanted to be with my babies.
Jason admitted Lily and Dre’s murders at his hearing and got life with a 31-year minimum. There was no explanation or apology, he said he didn’t remember what he’d done.
I thought Jason loved us, but he just thought he owned us. He told me he’d break my heart into 50 million pieces, and that’s exactly what he did.
He murdered two innocent little children who adored him, who saw him as their protector. His crime was the ultimate betrayal and he’ll have to live with that until the day he dies.
