Alice Crowley, 26, says supporting her mum through depression has made their bond stronger than ever and taught her to keep things in perspective.
Mary-Ellen Crowley, 53, was first diagnosed with clinical depression in 1992 and suffered from the illness for the majority of Alice’s childhood.
“It’s hard to explain what that was like for us growing up,” Alice says. “Especially with the lack of awareness around mental health and lack of acceptance.”
In 1997, along with her dad Tig and brother Tom, Alice moved from her home in a small NSW country town to Sydney. The family made the move to support Mary-Ellen while she underwent treatment at a mental health facility.
The admission durations ranged from several weeks to up to three months, with multiple admissions per year. Mary-Ellen was admitted almost every year following the family’s big move, until her final admission in April 2005.
“There was never a defining moment or turning point, it was just years of her hard work that finally paid off,” says Alice. “Firstly, she found a medication with no physical side effects that was effective in relieving her symptoms. Coupled with the skills she had learnt through therapy and the support of our amazing friends and family, my mum was able to make a full recovery.”
Alice says despite her mum being in and out of hospital on different programs she was always there for her family.
“The most amazing thing about my mum is the fact she never gave up,” Alice says. “She would muster up the strength to come to the things that were important to us, never missing a graduation, birthday, or anything like that. She put all her strength into being there for us.”
Mary-Ellen has been out of hospital for more than nine years. With previous experience in the healthcare sector as a nurse, she now works at a new Sydney-based cancer centre.
Alice says her mum is her hero and Mary-Ellen’s resilience has taught her family to hang on and keep trying – even when things seem like they are never going to get better.
Spreading the word on mental health
Perhaps most importantly, Mary-Ellen also taught her daughter the significance of being an advocate for mental health awareness.
“Compared to 15 years ago, mum is a completely different person,” Alice says. “The thing about mental health [illnesses] is that you can get better. Nowadays I think mental health awareness is a lot better, but we still have a long way to go.
“You can’t put a price on the power of conversation – whether that be with family, friends, your employer or a GP.”
Alice speaks with her mum every day over the phone and on email, while the family has weekly catch-up dinners.
“For a child to see their parent experience so much adversity, you learn to appreciate the small things and to keep things in perspective. This has been the greatest inspiration for me and my family,” Alice says.
“We don’t need much at all – a dinner at home with the four of us is our favourite thing to do.”
For more information about mental illness, please visit www.sane.org.
By Heather Jennings, sponsored by Snapfish
