Is one of those confusing, mysterious things that we’ve heard of, but don’t really understand. It can sound quite complicated and the fact you have to ‘train’ to do it triggers our and we instantly shy away.
However, tantric sex can give you the most powerful, and it’s a great way to connect with your partner on a deeper level. So we got in touch with Ella Hall, a tantric sex expert, to give us the low down on how to get-down tantric-ly.
…Before you dive in, though, you need to remember that Tantra is a practise much like yoga or meditation, it is important to keep it up and, like any muscle, build it up over time and with regular repetition.
How to set the scene for Tantric Sex
“Make it special. Make it sacred. Light some candles. Burn some oil, or incense. Invite in sensory play. Turn off any distractions like your phones or TV. There should also be absolutely NO PORN. Porn changes the chemistry and neural pathways in our brain, distracting you from what’s happening internally and encouraging you to seek out the fast and furious type of sex. Instead, play some music that makes you feel sensual and relaxed.”
Tantric Sex: Intention
“The number 1 Key of Tantra is the power of Intention. Our intention literally creates our reality and experience. Try setting your intention before each time you practise anything erotic, sensual or sexual in nature (solo or together) to ensure you are doing so from a place of consciousness, awareness and deep loving connection. The power of your sexual energy is limitless so be sure to be specific in what it is you want to create or invite more of into your world, your body and reality. It could be more pleasure, deeper intimacy, connection, relaxation, abundance?. The choice is always yours. Play with your power to manifest and see what happens.”
Tantric Sex: Breathing
“Both men and women can experience orgasmic states from breath alone. Just try breathing each other in. Look into one another’s eyes and start breathing together. Deep centred breaths focusing on connecting your sex centre to your heart and moving energy from one to the other. Notice what happens, think, and take it all in. Where in love making or self pleasure practice, do you hold your breath? Where else in your life are you not breathing? Breathing moves energy, releases energetic blocks and makes space for more orgasmic pleasure, so keep doing it”
Tantic Sex: Sounds
“Sound is often the key to unlocking your orgasmic potential. So often we hold back our noise, we depress it for fear of being heard, what others may think, having the housemates listen in etc. The thing is when we suppress sound, we run the risk of suppressing our pleasure too.”
Tantric Sex: Movement
“Movement allows energy to shift through our bodies. The trick with tantric sex is really to SLOW DOWN. Give yourself some time. Don’t rush love making or self pleasure practise (this can be hard with our fast paced lifestyles, I know), but start by putting aside minimum 15 minutes a day for slow self pleasure practise and build up from there.”
Tantric Sex: Implosion
“Tantra is about learning to implode with orgasmic energy as opposed to explode through friction-based stimulation. So as you practice breathing, sound and movement, at the same time constantly squeeze your pelvic floor muscle. You should also always be doing this during sex. This is your ‘erotic pump’, and when you focus on channelling the energy from your sex centre to your heart in this way, it expands your cultivated sexual and erotic energy throughout your entire body. Thus, the energy is not just limited to the genitals but gets transferred and transmuted into a full body orgasmic experience and sensations. Also referred to as the NEO or Non Ejaculatory Orgasm, these states can last for hours and are prolonged the more you surrender to them.”
How to receive Tantric Sex
“We as a species have been conditioned to be good givers, but we are not nearly as practised at being good receivers or asking for what it is we need or desire?. To receive is to allow one’s self to be vulnerable, open and seen. It is an intimate moment of exposure and leads to deeper, authentic connections. As we practise Tantra the art of love making (even solo sex) becomes just that An art.”
“Allow the flow of this energy to move you as you breathe each other in, and sound off together. Take it in turns to surrender to one another and just receive no giving just allow yourself to be fully worshipped in that moment and practise asking your beloved, or yourself, for that which you most deeply desire in that moment. This might be scary for you, but begin to practise conscious communication (even if it is with just yourself) to know that you are worth it, and when you know what turns you on and can ask for what it is you need. More often than not you will be met there”
