To be honest, I have been quite emotional… Reliving it all and talking about Thailand and that final rose ceremony and how much I love Matty.
Yeah, I’ve been pretty good at putting on a brave face.
I did. I felt a million dollars after meeting his family. I remember that night being on cloud nine, and really picturing us together.
When he told me.
I hope so to be honest, cause then that makes me feel like his feelings were genuine, because I don’t believe you can just shut them off.
I turned away from him and started walking. I didn’t know where I was going.
I didn’t actually tell them until the next day.
It’s so awful to relive it... I think that’s why I’ve struggled today, cause I have done so well to block it out. I have moved on and I have been fine and I’ve spent time working on myself and getting life back on track. So it’s a very unnatural thing to go back and relive it today.
Oh my gosh. I’ve really not enjoyed having social media open to us this year.
I think this year there have been so many spoilers, so people have commented the whole time, "We all know its Laura", even though they don’t actually know it’s her.
I hope that’s true. He said that the whole time that he won’t make the decision until he has to make that decision, so that he gives every person the opportunity that they deserve.
I wonder that… I do wonder whether he genuinely felt the things that he told me he felt, and I think any girl would question that.
I wonder that every day. Look, it’s true when they say, "You would rather have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Oh my God, this is so horrible.
Right now I have to say no.