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Tom Gleeson’s most hilarious jokes and zingers in the 2019 TV WEEK Logie Awards’ opening monologue

No one was safe – and we loved it!

By Erin Doyle and Jess Pullar
It's a beloved tradition that the TV WEEK Logie Awards launch with an opening monologue that pokes fun at Australia's biggest stars.
And while some celebrities thought they may have been able to breathe a sigh of relief at the 61st TV WEEK Logie Awards with Dave Hughes passing on the baton to Tom Gleeson, fortunately for us there was no such escape!
From Karl Stefanovic to the Footy Show, no star, show or situation was safe from Gleeson's witticisms.
In case you missed this year's Logies kicking off with a bang, we've rounded up the most hilarious, jaw-dropping and downright cheeky jibes, jokes and zingers.

1. Tom jokes about... himself

Yep, you read that right, Tom started off his monologue by joking about himself - all in good measure!
The comedian started by saying: "Welcome to the last ever TVWEEK Logie awards, I've wrecked it and oh I'm so sorry."
For the record, he hasn't! But what he said next certainly pushed the boundaries!
Funny guy Gleeson even made a joke about himself! (Nine)

2. Tom jokes about every single TV channel in Australia.

In a crack-up segment, Gleeson compared each channel on Australian television to a personality type at a typical party.
"I feel like if The Logies was like a house party, ABC would be like the old neighbours complaining about the noise," he started.
"Channel Seven is like the sensible family that never gets invited to parties," he continued.
"Channel 10 is the younger people that make a lot of noise even though no-one is listening."
With roars of laughter ensuing, it would be safe to say the crowd loved it!

3. Tom jokes about the "weird" shows on television... and Karl Stefanovic.

"It's been a weird year for TV hasn't it?" Tom began his next hilarious segment.
"Cricket was on Seven. The tennis was on Nine. And the Footy Show was on-air," he declared to laughs from the audience.
He then brought up one of the biggest shows to hit Aussie screens this year - Married at First Sight.
"Congratulations to Married at First Sight by the way for their monster ratings, give them a huge round of applause," he said.
He then made a cheeky dig saying that the television channel had done well on those weddings, while another very well known groom from the past year, Karl Stefanovic had a wedding that quite possibly might have been the cause of his shock departure.
But then, Gleeson added: "The Today Show needs you", making a sweeping dig at their ratings - eep!
Whoops! Karl Stefanovic did not evade Gleeson's rampage! (Nine)

4. Tom jokes about the Wallabies

The comedian added a hilarious quip that going to hell might be similar to watching a Wallabies game - yelp!
Luckily, as far as we know there weren't any Wallabies players there to feel the full blow...
Gleeson was on a roll! (Nine)

5. Tom jokes about old school television trends

Gleeson raised a point that many from the older generation would relate to: test patterns.
"Some of you don't know what I'm talking about - I feel like I'm losing the Home and Away table," he joked.
For context, he explained: "In the olden days TV used to end. Every night. They'd give up," he said.
"Because in the olden days networks were honest. They get to a certain point in the evening, and they'd be like, 'You know what, we've had a look out the back. There's nothing out there. Time to go to bed."
The stars of The Project enjoyed it! (Nine)
Gleeson continued: "They would get a certain point in the night about 11:00."
"Then, there'd be a big brass band. They'd play the National Anthem. Then there would be an announcement: 'Thank you for watching Channel 9. We hope you have enjoyed tonight's programming. We'll see you again tomorrow. Goodnight.'".
He explained the 'Test Pattern' came next.
"That was it. TV is done for the night.
Gleeson then suggested how good it could be if the same went for mobile phones nowadays.
"How good would that be if all our phones at the same time. It's 11pm. Boom. Phones are closed for the night. What a pleasure."
"Now we'd all have to tell a story! Does anyone have a fact? It'll all have to remain unverified."
Wrapping it up there, we must say that was a particularly explosive start to the night, Tom!
WATCH: TV WEEK LOGIE AWARDS 2019 Red Carpet Tom Gleeson:

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