Celeb News

Hold on to your jade eggs, people – Gwyneth Paltrow is now flogging “Psychic Vampire Repellent”

We think Gwynnie may have sniffed a little too much of that sex dust she's spruiking this time around…

By Ellie McDonald
Whether she’s consciously uncoupling or plotting her worldwide celeb-ination in the form of wellness-branded hotels and even her own TV show, Gwyneth Paltrow clearly doesn’t give a goop if her “cutting-edge” approach to health confuses us mere non-seven-figure-salary-earning mortals or not.
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The latest product to perch itself on the same shelf as her $45 oil-pulling kit (read: a jar of coconut oil and a spoon)? Paper Crane Apothecary Psychic Vampire Repellent.
Yes, vampire repellent.
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According to goop’s listing of the product, this “spray-able elixir” uses a combination of gem healing and oils to “banish bad vibes (and shield you from the people who may be causing them)”.
So, essentially, to ward off anyone giving your grief, buyers are instructed to “spray generously around their heads to safeguard their auras”.
Paper Crane Apothecary Psychic Vampire Repellent to ward off all those nasties (AKA vampires) in your life.
Since announcing her retirement from the acting biz back in June, Oscar Award-winning/modern-day Buffy Gwynnie, 44, has been focussing on building her vamp-axing “lifestyle” business, goop.
While that may mean facing off with medical practitioners firing up over her myriad health claims, by selling things like $300 “ribbed T-shirts”, this mum-of-two is laughing all the way to the Rodeo-Drive bank.
(Admittedly, she'll probably end up cashing in on our $$$ for this anti-vampire mist along the way. Sigh...)
What do you make of goop selling vampire repellent? Tell us by commenting on our Facebook page.