His elimination from The Bachelorette Australia left viewers in tears on Thursday night, but Ciarran Stott reveals he hasn't actually been able to watch the heartbreaking scenes back.
The cheeky Brit chose to leave the reality series, after finding out his beloved Nan had passed away while he was in the mansion.
"I haven't watched it back," Ciarran tells TV WEEK of his emotional departure from the show. "I guess I'll have to work up the courage to watch last night's episode."
As he left the Bachelorette Mansion, Ciarran told Angie Kent he might regret it. Months later, his opinion hasn't changed.
"I definitely have regret over leaving, you never know what could have happened if I'd stayed," the 25-year-old star reveals.
"I reckon I could have been the one. I had a good connection with her. I made her laugh, I made her feel good, so I could have [been the winner]."
Though his time with Angie was cut short, Ciarran does admit he still carries a torch for the blonde beauty.
"I mean I did say that to her as I was leaving, like if you can't find anything with this lot then slid in to my DMs," he jokes. "So I'll have to wait for that last episode to air and see how it pans out, but if [she's not with anyone] I'll jump in hers for sure."
Though he jokes of sliding in to her DMs, Ciarran does hope Angie ends up with another frontrunner, Carlin Sterritt.
"I wouldn't mind coming in second to Carlin if I was to lose to anyone. Just cause he looks like James Bond you know what I mean? It's annoying."
Since his departure from the series, fans have been calling for Ciarran to become the next Bachelor. It's an opportunity, he says, he simply couldn't pass up.
"Yeah I've heard that Bachelor 2020 rumour going around a bit," he spills. "I mean if that happens I'd definitely do it!"
Ciarran also revealed the truth about another rumour, that he's back together with his ex-girlfriend and recent The Bachelor Australia contestant Renee Barrett.
"Yeah, we're just friends," he confirms. "We have the same friendship group and in Darwin there's like 10 people that live there, so obviously we bump in to each other.
"There's like two bars to go out in, and everyone you know in Darwin is out at those two bars. Yeah so, amicable is the word I'd use."
The ex-Army rifleman admits he's found the nation's love for him interesting. Especially considering the initial reaction from fans when his teaser was released.
"Before the first episode went to air, and myself and Timm were released, people were just absolutely slating the both of us," he says.
"You know, who are these guys, these long haired hoons, this that and the other. And then they found out I was English, ex-Army, and they were like red flags, this guy's going to be a villain. And it went from that, to like, it feels like Australia fell in love with me and that was a great feeling."
One of the reasons he's become a fan-favourite is his bold wardrobe choices, which have sparked hundreds of adoring memes and tweets.
Another was his vulnerability in the face of toxic masculinity, which can often thrive in the world of reality TV.
"When that Jess guy started saying all those things, we sort of stuck together and told him what he was doing was wrong, but that was it really," he says, adding the rest of the guys in the mansion were a "good bunch."
As for being in touch with his emotions, Ciarran says he's proud of his openness.
"Guys these days sometimes aren't really in touch with their emotions, they've got to be, you know, a hardass upfront. I sort of break that stigma down. You can ride a Harley, have tattoos, all of that, but if I need to cry, I'll cry and it doesn't bother me."
Ciarran, we'll miss you!
The Bachelorette Australia airs Wednesday and Thursday, 7:30pm, on Network 10.