When it comes to announcing a long-dreamt-of pregnancy, feelings like joy, excitement and routine nervousness may come to mind.
And while The Big Bang Theory actress Melissa Rauch is revelling in the happiness of her just-announced pregnancy, the 37-year-old mum-to-be has used this good news to not only detail her contentment, but to express her worry that she may suffer a heartbreaking second miscarriage.
Opening up in a candid post for Glamour, Melissa started her piece with a statement about her exciting pregnancy news:
“Melissa is expecting her first child. She is extremely overjoyed, but if she’s being honest, due to the fact that she had a miscarriage the last time she was pregnant, she’s pretty much terrified at the moment that it will happen again.”
However, she then went on to describe how painful the experience was of losing her first child – something she is panicked may occur.
“The miscarriage I experienced was one of the most profound sorrows I have ever felt in my life,” she begins.
“The image of our baby on the ultrasound monitor - without movement, without a heartbeat – after we had seen that same little heart healthy and flickering just two weeks prior completely blindsided us and haunts me to this day.”
She then goes on to talk about how she blamed herself for the miscarriage, “wondering if there was something I did that could’ve caused the miscarriage”, and that this kind of loss is not something that is simple to move forward from.
“Many times in my life I’ve been able to get through difficult situations by reminding myself of the classic adage: “Everything happens for a reason." But as it turns out – for me, anyway – miscarriage was more of a ‘this straight-up f--king sucks’ situation,” she continues.
“Some things just are. The simple acceptance of this reality actually proved to be the most helpful course of action for me.”
Although, despite her sorrow and fears, Melissa is using her miscarriage to be “grateful” for her current pregnancy and can’t wait to be able to hold her child.
“All I really know for sure is that this experience has changed me forever,” she says.
“I know it’s made me grateful for every moment of my current pregnancy, and I hope it will make me a better mother in some capacity when I can finally hold the child that has been in my heart in my arms.”
We are sending all our positive vibes and well wishes to Melissa and her director husband, Winston Rauch, for a healthy and happy pregnancy.