The plebiscite came and it went. Then it came again, was shot down by Senate again and so the government just did their job and gave the people what they wanted, finally making same-sex marriage legal.
Just kidding, they decided to have a voluntary postal plebiscite that would cost $122 million, be non-binding, and quite obviously skewed to favour a certain demographic.
Insert joke about millennials not knowing what a letterbox is.
But what's $122 million between friends? To men of Malcolm's ilk it's mere pocket change - it would barely cover costs like cancer research, support for domestic violence victims or foreign aid!
Have a peep at just 15 things that would be a better use of the Australian taxpayers' money:
1. Move 305 humans detained on Nauru - $400,000 pa.
2. 1,906 average teacher salaries - $64,000 per year.
3. Go towards getting homeless people off the street which is currently costing the Victorian government $25,615 per person.
4. 20,333,333 packets of 6pk chicken nuggets - $6.35 each.
5. Fund the Safe Schools program with ALP’s pledged $2 million pa 61 times over.
6. 2.75 million bulk billed GP visits - $44.25 each.
7. Fund 1800 RESPECT domestic violence service for more than a decade - $10.1 million pa.
8. 16,025 child care rebates - $7, 613 per year.
9. 0.06 Sydney Olympics - ~ $2 billion each
WATCH: Nikki Webster sing Strawberry Kisses 16 years later because she was the best thing to come out of the Sydney Olympics.
10. Buy homes across Australia that is definitely in no way experiencing a housing affordability crisis:
11. Fund cancer research to diagnose, treat, manage and analyse childhood cancer for another 27 years - $4.4 million pa.
12. 23,340 helicopter flights to attend Liberal fundraisers for Bron - $5227 each.
13. 717,647 iconic John Howard tracksuit pants - $170 each.
14. 34,857 French bulldogs - $3500 each.
15. 2,000 average registered nurses salaries - $61,000 per year.
At least we'll definitely have equal rights for our citizens... well, maybe, the results aren't binding.