IN SHORT
- Katy Bampton was a shy kindergarten teacher when a couple she was babysitting for told her about a sensual party.
- It sparked a sexual awakening for Katy, who went on to marry a porn star.
- Together, they hosted swingers’ parties and attended lavish events in mansions across the world.
- But after years of wild adventures, Katy decided to give up sex altogether.
- Here, Katy Bampton, 32, shares her incredible journey, and how she’s now helping women and couples improve their intimacy
I left my boyfriend’s house sore and deflated.
Is that it? I wondered. Surely it gets better.
It was 2011 and I was 18, having just lost my virginity.
The experience had been brief, awkward and far from pleasurable.
Read more: We saved ourselves for marriage… now we’re swingers!
Coming from a religious school and a strict upbringing, I’d had little real knowledge about sex.
Still, hearing the way my classmates spoke about it, I’d expected at least some enjoyment.
Telling myself it was just inexperience, I hoped intimacy would feel different with time.
But throughout my 20s, while working as a kindergarten teacher on the Gold Coast, Qld, every encounter only deepened my disappointment.
I focused on pleasing the men rather than myself – going through the motions, faking satisfaction and smiling on the outside while feeling empty inside.
Then, in 2021, at 28, I started babysitting for a couple on weekends to earn extra cash.
One evening they arrived home, wrapped around each other, eyes sparkling.
“Good night?” I teased.
“We just hosted a sensual party with our group of married friends,” the wife confided, explaining how they swapped partners and enjoyed consensual intimacy. “It’s a great way to explore your sexuality,” she added.
When she mentioned that single women were welcome, my curiosity was piqued.
Maybe this is what I need to spark a sexual awakening, I thought.
The following weekend the couple hired another babysitter and invited me out bar-hopping.
After a few drinks, we ended up at an apartment they’d rented for the night.
Inside, women in lingerie were laughing and dancing. It took me a while to relax, but gradually I joined in.
Soon, I was swept up in the moment, moving from one encounter to the next, my heart pounding with adrenaline.
By the next day I felt a rush I had never experienced before.
“I feel so liberated!” I laughed to a friend over the phone.
“Are you going to do it again?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” I replied. “But probably with a different group.”
Embracing the swingers’ lifestyle
I continued babysitting for the couple but began finding other sex parties through word of mouth.
I loved the sense of control and autonomy at these events.
Everything was about consent and making sure people were comfortable – and for the first time, I never had to fake my pleasure.
In November 2021, at a swingers’ club, I spotted a gorgeous guy with brilliant blue eyes and a gym-honed physique.
“I’m Rob,” he said with a devilish grin. It wasn’t long before our hands were all over each other.
We started hanging out outside the clubs and quickly became a couple.
We were each other’s primary partner but open to others. Within two months, we were living together.
Rob, 36, worked as a porn star, very different from my life as a nursery teacher.
My colleagues would eagerly await me in the staff room every Monday.
“What did you do this weekend?” they asked, eyes wide.
“Your life is literally a movie!” another laughed.
After six weeks together, Rob dropped to one knee. He had arranged for a flash mob to perform The Greatest Show from The Greatest Showman.
At the end of the dance, he stood with a ring.
“This might be crazy, but I just feel so right with you,” Rob said.
“Yes!” I squealed as he lifted me into the air.
Two months later, we were organising our own swingers’ parties.
There was a gathering room downstairs and five rooms upstairs for people to play, join in or just watch.
Up to 10 people could be on one bed at a time.
I loved playing with Rob and others, and there was no jealousy because we had such strong communication.
In 2022, three months after meeting, we married. We eloped on the Gold Coast, enjoying a gondola at sunset with Rob’s two ex-girlfriends as photographers.
Immersed in the swingers’ lifestyle, soon, I was travelling with Rob and attending sex parties in mansions around the world.
By then, I had left my nursery job and was earning a living creating content online.
At the beginning of 2023, Rob and I moved to Bangkok, Thailand.
The sex and partying lifestyle was catching up to me, and as I relaxed in Thailand, I realised I needed a change.
“Rob, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I told him tearfully. “This lifestyle has been a whirlwind, and I need to step back.”
He was very understanding. “I’ll always be there for you, and want to be your friend,” he said.
Rob stayed in Bangkok with his other partner for more travel and I decided to move to the island of Koh Samui.
I attended a retreat in the jungle to cleanse and reconnect with my body. A friend had recommended it and I wanted to give it a try.
Through workshops I learned to self-regulate and connect with my emotions. Meditation became an everyday activity.
During one session, I visualised myself lying down and pulling out a string of cocktail sausages from my vagina – a representation of all the men who’d had sex with me.
Loving the experience, I kept extending my stay. Before I knew it, I’d been in the retreat for over a year, completely celibate.
Now, I feel like my body is truly mine, no longer seeking validation from others.
I’m more in tune with myself – my wants, needs and desires – than ever before.
I started The School of Sensuality online, offering workshops to help women embrace their sexuality, feel more confident and alive.
Then I launched Your Couples Intimacy, coaching busy professionals, on connection, communication and intimacy, to help revive their relationship.
My path to fulfilment is different from most, but I’m happy to have found my calling.
I don’t regret my wild days; they’re part of my story. I wouldn’t have reached this place without those steps.
For my next relationship, I’d love a monogamous one. I’d like to settle down and have children one day.
I’m very selective with my energy now and will only be with someone new if our values align.
