Celeb News

Hold up! Someone bit Beyoncé and we're going to get to the bottom of it

A comprehensive investigation into #BiteGate.

By Chloe Lal

There may have been over a billion dollars in the elevator but we all knew who was at fault with the Beyoncé, Jay Z, Solange lift drama of '14.

Three years later and the pop culture gods prove lightening does indeed strike twice as Queen Bey finds herself in the middle of an A-list mystery.

Somebody. Bit. Beyoncé.

Cue #WhoBitBeyoncé

When you find out somebody BIT Beyoncé.
When you find out somebody BIT Beyoncé.
Firstly, you'll feel disgust.
Firstly, you'll feel disgust.
And then the anger trickles in...
And then the anger trickles in...

The facts - Somebody bit Beyoncé

It all began when Tiffany Haddish shared a mesmerising tale of hanging out with Queen Bey.

"Okay, so what had happened was, something had went down with somebody at the party, right?" the 38-year-old explained to Vulture.

"I'm not at liberty to say what had went down at the party, but Beyoncé was just telling me to have a good time, and I was like, 'No, I'm gonna end up fighting this b---h!' She was like, 'No, have fun, Tiffany,' and I said, 'I'm only going to have fun if you take a selfie with me.' She said, 'Okay,' and then she buried her face in my wig."

Tiff later told GQ, "There was this actress there that's just, like, doing the mostest."

Bey's selfie with Tiff from the night of the incident.
Bey's selfie with Tiff from the night of the incident.

"She bit Beyoncé in the face," Tiffany claimed.

"So Beyoncé stormed away, went up to JAY-Z, and was like, 'Jay! Come here! This b---h —' and snatched him. They went to the back of the room. I was like, 'What just happened?' And Beyoncé's friend walked up and was like, 'Can you believe this b---h just bit Beyoncé?' "

Bey's rep spoke of the incident, saying, "I absolutely cannot comment on any of this, as I have no knowledge."

This is imagery from the night of the "incident"... Jay Z with Tiffany.
This is imagery from the night of the "incident"... Jay Z with Tiffany.

Tiffany Haddish wanted to fight for Beyoncé's honour

It's only natural Tiff wanted to go all Liam Neeson.
It's only natural Tiff wanted to go all Liam Neeson.

The rising star from Girls Trip - just like the entire world - was disgusted that somebody would try to harm the mother-of-three.

"I'm going to beat somebody ass at your party. I just want to let you know that," she claimed she told Beyoncé.

However the ethereal Hollywood legend channelled her inner Oprah, diffusing the situation telling Tiffany to forget about it and "have fun."

Tiffany says after that triumphant moment, they were inspired to snap their now infamous selfie.

Tiffany continued her story, "Near the end of the party, Beyoncé's at the bar, so I said to Beyoncé, 'Did she really bite you?' She was like, 'Yeah.' I was like, 'She gonna get her ass beat tonight.' "

"She was like, 'Tiffany, no. Don't do that. That b---h is on drugs. She not even drunk. The b---h is on drugs. She not like that all the time. Just chill.'"

Who are the suspects?

Years of listening to crime podcasts like Serial, watching Law and Order: SVU, catching the last few minutes of a CSI episode and reading a total of three Nancy Drew novels have lead up to this moment.

Now To Love will solve what can only be described as "the biggest mystery of the 21st Century."

Who would have the audacity to bite Beyoncé?

Tapping into our inner Sherlock Holmes, here are the facts.

  1. It was an actress who was "acting the mostest"... Meaning we are looking for a female.
  2. Beyoncé alleges this actress "was on drugs". We're looking for a party gal.
  3. This actress has entered an elite sphere where she's not only at the same parties as Beyoncé... But can physically get close enough to her, to bite her face.
  4. The party took place in December 2017 - and was hosted by Bey and Jay.

Who would do such a thing?
Who would do such a thing?

This pretty much opens up our suspect pool to everyone A-Lister actress in Hollywood.

If you believe the internet (when has it ever been wrong?) Lena Dunham, Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Schumer and Lindsay Lohan have all been named as potential Beyonce biters.

According to The Cut, the party where the incident occurred had a very high profile guest list including: Rihanna, James Franco, French Montana, Queen Latifah, G-Eazy, Diddy, Sara Foster, Jen Meyer and Sanaa Lathan.

We'd like to go on the record and say it is VERY unlikely that Fenty queen Rihanna and actual Queen Latifah would have chowed down on Bey.

What does Chrissy Teigen know?

Part-time oracle, full-time Legend, Chrissy Teigen has obviously weighed in on the controversy.

And she apparently is keeping the culprit's name to herself.

Telling Us Weekly, "I think it's hysterical that everyone is so protective of [Beyoncé]. The Hive has gone after people, but it's fine."

"We've all done things after a couple glasses of wine. If I had a dollar for everything inappropriate I've done to someone after a couple drinks, I mean."

Why won't you tell us?
Why won't you tell us?

The 32-year-old expectant mum tweeted on Monday, "I cannot leave this planet without knowing who bit Beyoncé in the face."

We feel you, Chrissy.

She then sent the Beyhive into a frenzy when she alluded to the fact she knew who did it, saying, "My initial guess was wrong. The real person? I never would have guessed. I'VE SAID TOO MUCH."

But Chrissy, you haven't said too much... We still do not know who it could be?!

She later told breakfast talk show hosts Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, "The problem is I love everybody involved, so I'm like 'zip."

Who 100% did not bite Beyonce

^us crossing of suspects, one by one.
^us crossing of suspects, one by one.

Thankfully, with all her infinite wisdom, Chrissy did clarify that Gwyneth Paltrow did not feast on the singer.

One fan asked if the Goop founder tried to get a chunk of Bey.

"No, I love her!"

Meanwhile, 90210's Sara Foster has also been forced to deny partaking in the bite fest.

Posting her comment to Instagram, she shared, "Flattering that anyone thinks I could get this close to Beyoncé."

Tiffany also took to Twitter to confirm actress Taraji P. Henson was not among the contenders.

Meanwhile, actress Sanaa Lathan was named as a suspect but the starlet was quick to shut down her involvement.

"Y'all are funny. Under no circumstances did I bite Beyoncé and if I did it would've been a love bite," she tweeted on March 26.

But a development in the #BiteGate has put Sanaa back on the radar.

Tiffany spoke of the bite during one of her stand up shows in January, hinting the culprit dated rapper French Montana.

Sanaa DATED French...

Sanaa is pals with Bey... And could get close enough!
Sanaa is pals with Bey... And could get close enough!

One insider told TMZ that Tiff's camp believe Beyonce's biter was Sanaa.

"One source said it was not an aggressive bite… it was playful and noninvasive, but still caught Beyoncé off guard," the alleged.

This is all in line with Sanaa's love bite comment.

Make of that what you will!