When Kirsty met Darren
When she was younger, Kirsty started babysitting to earn a bit of cash. She looked after four kids for a single dad called Darren Ashley.
“He’s raising them on his own,” she explained.
Some time later she and Darren became a couple and moved in together.
When I first met him at a party, he seemed nice enough, but I soon noticed he could be controlling with Kirsty.
“I can’t come over today,” she’d phone to tell me, “Darren’s in a mood.”
Her mum and I worried, but she insisted everything was fine. They went on to have two kids, Arial and Jaryn, and although they never married, Kirsty changed her surname to Darren’s.
Sadly, things didn’t work out between her mum and I. We split up and I moved to Urunga, NSW. But I still phoned Kirsty regularly.
“Darren’s struggling for work, can we move near you for a fresh start?” she asked one day.
Darren’s kids had grown up and moved out by then, but they planned to bring Arial and Jaryn with them.
Kirsty took after me when it came to cars.
“Course you can,” I said, thrilled I’d see more of them.
They rented a place nearby, but I sensed tension between Darren and Kirsty.
“I can’t find work,” Darren complained. “I’m going back to the Alice.”
A few days later, he did.
“He’s insisting I go back, too,” Kirsty said. But she seemed reluctant.
“You and the kids can stay with me as long as you like,” I offered.
“You’re the best, Dad,” she replied.
They moved into my place and, away from Darren, Kirsty seemed more relaxed.
Kirsty was trying to leave Darren.
“Stay for good, you don’t have to go back to him,” I suggested after they’d been with me for three months.
Kirsty shook her head.
“I’ve got to make a go of it for the kids’ sake,” she said, sadly.
She handed me a coffee mug saying Always a daddy’s girl. Then, they headed back up north. I was heartbroken.
“You can come back anytime,” I told her.
He’d been hitting her all along
A week on, she called me to say she was leaving Darren.
“He’s belted me and it’s not the first time,” she confessed.
I was horrified. I knew their relationship had been rocky, but not once had she told me Darren was violent.
“Get away from him, right now,” I told her. How dare that animal lay a finger on my girl.
“I’m moving in with Iain,” she said.
I was relieved she’d be with her brother. He lived near Kirsty and Darren’s house in Alice Springs. At least she and the kids would be safe there.
“Love you, Dad,” she said.
A few days later, Iain called, sobbing.
“Kirsty’s dead,” he cried.
“What?” I said as my body began trembling.
“She’s been murdered,” he said. “Mum and I found her in the lounge room.”
Murdered? I had so many questions, but Iain was too traumatised to answer.
A sick dread crept over me. There was only one person who’d do something so horrific to my beautiful daughter.
Police arrested Darren later that day.
I got the next plane to Alice Springs. When I arrived Iain explained more.
She’s taken out an AVO the day before
“Kirsty filed a domestic violence order against Darren the day before he killed her,” he explained tearfully.
Darren had somehow got inside Iain’s place and stabbed Kirsty. Her mum and Iain had found her lying in a pool of blood, a ceremonial sword beside her body.
“Her poor kids,” I wept. They were staying with family but how would they cope knowing that their dad had murdered their mum?
The days that followed were heavy with grief as we planned the funeral and of course, the kids were a mess, already missing their mother.
Standing beside Kirsty’s coffin, blind with tears, I collapsed to my knees.
“I was so proud of her and of how much she loved her kids,” I said in the eulogy. “I love her so much.”
Me with my beautiful daughter.
Darren pleaded not guilty to murder. He claimed he’d killed Kirsty in self-defence, saying she’d attacked him then slipped, fatally falling on a knife.
But the truth was very different.
Kirsty had dumped him and he’d bombarded her with 297 texts.
Then he’d turned up at Iain’s house unannounced and stabbed Kirsty 27 times using different knives. The attack was so brutal, some blades snapped off inside her body. Afterwards, he dumped the knives in a storm drain.
The sword he’d placed beside Kirsty’s body hadn’t been used. Police believe he’d placed it there to throw them off the scent.
Thankfully, no-one bought Darren’s denials. He was found guilty and sentenced to life with a non-parole period of 22 years.
In my mind, men who murder women should never be let out.
He killed Kirsty because she wouldn’t put up with his violence anymore. It breaks my heart that she filed for a DVO thinking it would protect her.
Women deserve to feel safe. That’s why I support Take 5’s campaign to introduce a GPS tracking program that can send domestic violence victims an alert if their abusers get too close.
Darren stole the mother of his own kids and took my beautiful daughter from me forever. That will always be unforgivable.
