IN SHORT
- At just nine years old, Erin discovered she was conceived using a sperm donor after her parents spent 16 heartbreaking years trying for a baby.
- Growing up as an only child, she took a DNA test, hoping to find a sibling. But nothing could have prepared her for discovering that she had at least 77!
- Now, her shocking discovery has changed her life, from finding an incredible new family to fearing she could unknowingly date one of her siblings.
- Erin, 32, from North Sydney shares her story below….
Sitting in the lounge room, I was half-watching TV, when Mum came in and sat beside me.
“Can we have a chat?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said, muting the sound.
It was 2003, I was nine, and my parents hadn’t long been separated.
Until that moment, I had no idea of the strain their marriage had been under.
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“Firstly, your father is your father. He raised you and loves you, and nothing can take that away,” Mum began.
“But we had to have a bit of help to have you.”
She explained she and Dad had been trying for a baby for around 16 years.
As a midwife surrounded by new mothers, the heartache had been intense.
Eventually, they turned to IVF Australia in Sydney.
After miscarriages and heartbreak, I was finally born with the help of a sperm donor.
“You might have a couple of siblings somewhere,” she said. “And if you ever want to try and find them, I’ll support you.”
As an only child who’d always begged for a brother or sister, this was mind-blowing.
I hadn’t realised how difficult and expensive it had been just to have me.
One thing was certain: I’d been wanted.
None of it changed how I felt about Dad.
He taught me to ride a bike, took me to the pool and dancing lessons.
He even came to my school for lunch until teachers told him he couldn’t.
“Why not? She’s my daughter,” he protested.
“We can’t just have parents wandering the school,” a teacher said.
They built a fence soon after.
In my late teens, I grew curious about my origins, but the clinic my parents used no longer existed.
Then in 2019 Mum passed away, leaving me devastated.
It got me thinking more about family.
Mum had always said she’d support me if I wanted to search for potential siblings.
Read more: Double Trouble: My sister and I got married together!
Now I also had a two-year-old son and thought he might one day be curious, too.
So in 2020 I ordered a DNA test online.
Let’s just see what happens, I thought.
When the kit came, I sent off the sample and waited anxiously.
When the results arrived, I scanned the email. It said I had three first cousins.
A wave of disappointment washed over me. I’d been expecting siblings.I sent a message to one of them called Lexie.
I’m trying to get some information about my biological father, I told her. Later, she messaged back. I was driving, so I asked my friend to read it out.
“It says she’s a donor child, too,” my friend told me. “And there are two others who they suspect have come from the same donor.”
In shock, I had to pull over.
“Oh my God, I’ve got siblings?” I cried.
Overnight, I’d gone from no siblings to potentially having three.
Lexie added me to the WhatsApp group they had.
It felt surreal talking to them on there, but also exciting.
Lexie told me she’d contacted Queensland Fertility Group, where the donation had come from, and discovered there were actually 12 siblings, though we didn’t yet know them all.
“Twelve?” I gasped.
Lexi and one of our brothers had even unknowingly been to the same party.
“This is crazy,” I said.In the WhatsApp group, we started piecing things together.
Then new information came in – there were 34 of us.
Whenever a new match appeared on Ancestry.com, we reached out to offer support.
In 2022, four of us decided to meet.
I met my sister Sam at the airport.
Seeing her, I ran through the crowd and hugged her.
“I can’t believe you’re real,” I cried.
Two nights later, we met two more sisters, Lexie and Juliette, for the first time.
Lexie and I discovered we had the exact same hands.
“We’re identical hand twins,” I laughed, mimicking Friends character Joey Tribbiani.
All of us had the same smile and face shape.
All my life I’d thought I looked like Mum.
Now I wondered if I looked like my donor.
I still had Mum’s hazel eyes.
The rest had piercing blue.
Back home, I did my own digging with IVF Australia but it was hard to get information.
“I have a right to know who I am,” I insisted.
Eventually, some information was released.
Slowly, our sibling numbers climbed.
When we hit 77, my sister Lyndal went public.
Our donor had given sperm 325 times.
Not every donation resulted in a pregnancy, but it meant there may be hundreds of us.
Some of his sperm is still frozen, meaning one of us could unknowingly be impregnated by our biological father.
The thought makes my skin crawl.
It’s made dating difficult.
I’m single and now must ensure people I meet aren’t biologically related, by asking questions like, “Are you sure your father is your biological father?” and “Would you be willing to take a DNA test?”
It must seem weird, but I don’t want to end up sleeping with a sibling.
Some parents never tell their children they’re donor-conceived.
I worry for my son, too.
He’s eight now, but when he’s older I’ll have to explain it all.
Currently, there are no national rules on how many families a donor can help, or how donor records are kept.
Rules vary by state.
Before 2005, donors could stay anonymous.
Now anonymity is banned, and identifying information is available once donor-conceived children turn 18.
I support everyone who needs a donor to have a child.
Everyone deserves that chance.
But there must be limits and consistent regulations nationwide.
Despite how overwhelming it can be, I’m deeply grateful for this unexpected journey.
Finding my siblings – 10 of whom I’ve met now – has filled a void I didn’t even know existed, giving me laughter, connection, and a sense of belonging I never imagined.
It’s a reminder that family isn’t always what you expect.
Sometimes it’s discovered, piece by piece, in the most surprising ways and it can bring a joy that lasts you a lifetime.
