Actress, mother, wellness mogul, conscious uncoupler, Gwyneth Paltrow has many strings to her bow, but perhaps her main calling in life is vagina spokesperson.
The mother-of-two has spoken in praise of everything from vaginal steaming to homemade lube and even tried to introduce everyone to the "perks" of using jade eggs.
Here, four of Gwyneth's most hilarious quotes that manage to make Psychic Vampire Repellent sound normal.
Back in 2015, while writing about the Tikkun Holistic Spa, the actress introduced the world to vaginal steaming (a.k.a. V-steams) — and copped a bunch of backlash. "The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam: You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al," she says. "It is an energetic release — not just a steam douche — that balances female hormone levels. If you're in LA, you have to do it."
Last year, Gwyneth's health and wellness site goop spoke to actress/healer Shiva Rose about jade eggs. The article began: "The strictly guarded secret of Chinese royalty in antiquity — queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors— jade eggs were said to harness the power of energy work and crystal healing... Jade eggs' power to cleanse and clear make them ideal for spiritual detox." The interview promptly went viral — the Internet had a field day that Gwyneth's latest health fad involved inserting a $70 rose quartz jade stone egg up your nether regions — and multiple doctors came out to advise against it.
In 2013, while promoting Iron Man 3, Gwyneth revealed she almost had a 'bikini line malfunction' in her sheer-panel dress. "Well, let's just say everyone went scrambling for a razor. I work a '70s vibe," the actress told Ellen DeGeneres. Returning to the show later in the year, the actress joked that her "big bush" story had gotten way out of control. "I knew it had permeated when my brother in-law said to me like, 'I hope you're not going to bring back big b**h.'" Umm, probably not the best way to kill the story, Gwyneth!
An episode of Grace and Frankie (yes, really) set Gwyneth off on worldwide natural lube domination. "Frankie [Lily Tomlin] makes her own homemade lube," the actress told Chelsea Handler. "We started talking about, 'Is lube toxic? Why is she making homemade lube?' Then we started looking and reading in the ingredients panel and we learned that lube is actually really toxic," she says." Continuing the story in her goop newsletter, she says: "Frankie says this 100 percent organic formulation, made from yams, citrus seeds, and coconut oil, will turn the driest of deserts into your own personal slip 'n slide. Unfortunately, her proprietary formula isn't available yet, so we set out to find a lube that comes close and meets the standards of the goop clean beauty shop – and to the joy of parched vaginas everywhere, we did." Their organic 100 percent vegan lubrication find is by Sliquid.