To the Bachelor Girls of 2019 and all future Bachelor alumni,
I urge you. Run...
...straight to the cheese platter. Because that my friend is what's going to sustain you for what will possibly be the biggest adventure of your life. And sustenance you will need.
The days are longer than a screening of Titanic and there will be emotions to match.
As one of the only people ever to make it to the end of The Bachelor and for the both of us to not actually walk away with the grand prize of love - I feel it is my duty to impart my wisdom to you all – perhaps so you can do the opposite.
A how-not-to guide, if you will.
So, let's dive in.
Ladies. You will laugh, you will cry and you will question your sanity.
There will be days you wake disoriented thinking you've switched reality sets to Survivor, but Survivor doesn't get cheese.
Speaking of, you will eat yourself into oblivion and find yourself suddenly poring your heart out into a journal when you've never written one before.
At times you will ask yourself, "Who am I and what the bloody hell am I doing here!?"
The answer, my sweet little romantics, is love. You're there for love…and charcuterie boards.
But mainly love.
Now, I love love, and truth be told, I thought I was going to get my happy ever after.
Ya know, ride off into the sunset with the wind in my hair and Nick's curls whipping me in the face - on a horse we stole from a nearby stable.
But the reality is, all but one of you (and God I hope there's one of you - bring it home Matt!) will leave empty handed; and a few more will leave with a broken heart and no stallion to speak of.
So my advice is this: just have fun. Every day. You will never do anything like this again so enjoy it! Just be yourself and let your light shine – then either way you'll leave with your perfect match or genuine, long-lasting friendships.
I honestly had the greatest time on that show. The laughs we all shared were like nothing I've had before and I felt particularly lucky to have Cass and Soph on the wild journey with me.
At times those friendships felt almost lifesaving, so I urge you to form sisterly bonds to support you through the experience.
WATCH NEXT: Meet Dr Matt Agnew. Story continues...
Which leads me to the next point: Don't be a bi--ch. Just don't. What's the point?
Where do you think it will get you? I would like to think that my grand finale presence was proof that it doesn't have to be a ruthless competition as such.
Women can support women in any situation - even when competing for the same guy.
Now, I know this doesn't make much sense to you, but it's not a normal situation.
You will either be the one for Matt or you won't.
Accept this and know that whatever happens, life is putting you on the road to exactly where you need to be (some roads are longer than others, like mine - I'm still navigating...).
One thing I learnt the hard way is to show your emotions. And to make sure you're the first in the kitchen to score an elusive avocado. But mainly emotions.
Let it all out. Be open and honest, but like, not in a creepy stalker way. Just be real.
I kept my emotions locked away like the crown jewels. I refused to cry on TV. Refused to drop the L-Bomb. Fair call though - could you imagine!?
Me: "I love you Nick and I want you, alllllllll of you"
Nick; "Thanks for sharing Britt. Gotta go though I think I left my nan in the car…" HA!
But honestly, if you don't feel like you're in love yet, that's OK!
And if you are in love, that's great!
There is no right or wrong answer. For me, I hadn't been in a relationship in seven years so I wasn't about to say it whilst old mate suitor was still dating someone else. It was a big deal for me.
Now, I constantly said I would be OK no matter what the ending and no matter who he chose. That combined with zero tears can make you seem like a hard-arse, stone cold, emotionally void potato.
Which I most certainly am not. My tears came in private. I came to terms with Nick's decision on my own. But girls, just be real and feel all the feels. We will feel it with you, I promise.
You will have hard times where you feel so overwhelmed and will want to quit. Everyone feels this way at some point. If that happens go hang with the alpacas. They're legends and are really great listeners. But know that it is only a moment in time and it will pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but pass it will, so don't let it weigh you down.
Once you come out the other side... be ready. If you don't have a thick skin, find one ASAP. You will need it. The media and the public can be amazing and supportive and more often than not they are! But it can also become a dark place. Just know that that too shall pass. Try not to read every single article (even though I know you will) and know that one person's opinion of you doesn't define you.
To the Top 4,
You will go through more than most. If you need to reach out and just have someone to support you that has been there and done that…. holla at me. You know where to find me. (If I'm not at the wine bar just hit me up on Insta)
And to the girl that steals the heart that is inside Matt's very attractive, kind and intelligent chest (man - timing has never been my strong point), to you I say 'congratulations on surviving and finding a love that is astronomically out of this world' (I mean, I had to).
Oh, and one last thing, does he have a brother??
Follow Britt and fellow (successful) Bachelor winner Laura Byrne by listening to the Life Uncut podcast.
The Bachelor premieres Wednesday 31 July at 7.30pm on TEN