After toying with the temptation to quit for several days, an emotional Bonnie Anderson finally chose to voluntarily withdraw from the SAS Australia course during Wednesday night's episode.
The singer and actress reveals to TV WEEK that she was overcome with anxiety by the time she made the difficult decision to leave the show seven days in.
"Basically from day two I was playing in my head that I wanted to go. From the moment of being tear gassed it was always a fear of me to be tear gassed again and I was like 'I don't want to feel like that again'," she says.
"To be honest I didn't even know I had those fears. It was mentally difficult for me to process."
Describing herself as a "tough cookie" in the outside world, Bonnie admits her emotions became hard to manage towards the tail end of her stint on the show.
"I got to the stage where I was really pushing myself beyond where I wanted to go anyway," she says.
"I've never been an anxious person and I was feeling really not myself and feeling really traumatised. I had to really be honest with myself because I did try and leave a few time and [the DS] didn't allow me to because they saw potential in me."
Bonnie admits she struggled to adjust to reality when she came home to Melbourne after leaving the course, saying she was "numb for weeks".
"I'm glad I did because it was something I needed to deal with and I got to go through that rollercoaster and now I feel like I'm in a great place," she says.
"I'm now more self-aware and confident and I don't doubt myself nearly as much as I did.
"Watching it back I kind of almost missed it, it's kind of psychotic," she laughs.
The former Neighbours actress, who was the youngest recruit on the show, admits the course is "made to make you crumble and face your demons".
"I felt really out of my comfort zone. People don't understand I was the youngest I was fed up and I had had enough," she says.
The 27-year-old shared a tender moment with DS Ant Middleton as she announced her departure from the course, with the no-nonsense ex SAS soldier breaking his tough exterior to tell Bonnie he was proud of her.
"Ant was the toughest but he was so soft in a lot of ways as well," she says.
"We had a couple of moments where we had a chat and he said encouraging words. He pulled me off camera and said: 'You can do this, this is your moment, believe in yourself'.
"He's a father and he's an incredible husband and he's such an incredible man and I really looked up to him and wanted to make him proud. I had a real soft spot for him."
Bonnie revealed Ant, along with fellow DS Mark 'Billy' Billingham, Ollie Ollerton and Jason 'Foxy' Fox, kept their aggressive "persona" up throughout the entire show, even when cameras weren't rolling.
"There were very few moments where we see them giggling to each other," she says.
Despite some tense exchanges between some recruits, including Koby Abberton and Jett Kenny, Bonnie says the group of 18 celebrities have remained close and continue to speak everyday via a group chat.
"Everyone was pretty kind to each other. But there were really intense moments where stuff got really heated," she says.
"The boat day was really hard because it was a team challenge and a competition. We were all yelling at each other it was very hard and you obviously saw Kerry and Koby [squabbling].
"But at the end of the day we all really like each other everyone was such different personalities. We all come from different walks of life.
Bonnie, who won The Masked Singer last year, also revealed her predictions for which celebrities are behind the costumes on the current season.
"I kind of just feel like the Kebab could be Jack Vidgen," she says.
"I know him very well and he's incredible, but I haven't figured out any others."