It's no secret that Married at First Sight's Mike Gunner has a few iss-uses when it comes to relationships.
And now, it seems his fake TV relationship with Heidi Latcham has come to a screaming halt.
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During the first dinner party (remember that far back?), Mike gives Jessika unsolicited sex advice about her husband - i.e. "you won't go the distance if you do not "consummate" the marriage," leading to Mick and Jess doing the deed.
Mick then tells the boys about the sex and Jessika is completely unimpressed, leading to Mick apologising with the world's most pathetic picnic spread – and all this, because of Mike.
But do you know who is also unimpressed? Heidi. Heidi is v v v unimpressed.
Now, you may be wondering how this is any of her business.
Well, according to the 38-year-old, Mike needs to talk to Jessika about "pressuring" her into the situation, but he can't be trusted alone… or something.
On Wednesday's episode, Heidi and Mike spend approximately six billion hours talking about how they would "as a team" talk to Jessika to set the record straight.
But Mike Gunner is gonna do, what Mike Gunner is gonna do – and beelines for the blonde beauty to say "we need to talk later".
Heidi sees this, because Mike doesn't know what discretion is, and he is done for. Goodbye. Caput. Finito.
As expert John puts it; "Heidi has made an agreement with Mike and he's broken it… AGAIN!"
"How many times does she have to say, 'we've got to be a team'? Stick to the boundaries!"
And mate, if you don't know that Mike Gunner has zero boundaries by now…
Cam thinks it's a really good idea to ask Mike at the dinner table why Heidi has turned to an ice queen next to him, and frankly, Cam, you've had better ideas.
"I don't know how to make Heidi happy," Mike tells him. "It would appear that I have broken her trust but I really hadn't."
Cam and Jules are now fully invested in the relationship that is not theirs, because it is far more interesting than their own.
Expert John is now concerned that Mike cannot "empathise" with his wife but to move forward, he needs this very special skill. LOL jokes on you, John! This is never going to happen.
"The response of yours actually affects us greater than the initial cause," Mike says to his wife, and ummm, sorry?
Expert Trish explains that actually, this is part of Heidi's personality to go "over and over and over" issues and then concludes that Heidi is "needy" - which is very weird, because it's like she has taken Mike's side. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
John places a bet on how long they will last and settles on "until tomorrow". Unfortunately, they don't even make five minutes so he's not very happy.
After seeing some very confusing footage of Heidi laughing a lot:
Mike goes peak "Mike" on Heidi.
"If you really care about me, you've got to let this petty sh-t go," and shh Mike, please. "You treat me really poorly for a 24 hour period and I can't sustain that."
"Do you want to have a future with me?" he then asks.
No, no she does not. Because Heidi then "closes the door" on Mike – but it's not fully closed, just "nearly shut".
"Well mine is shut," Mike says folding his arms.
"Oh OK, yours is shut, mine's going to be slammed…" Heidi responds and are we actually in High School?
WATCH NEXT: Heidi and Mike close all the doors
Mike realises he's really hurt Heidi and says he's "given up" and maybe "marriage isn't for everyone".
Probably just fake TV marriages, Mike!
Suffice to say, we know where the commitment ceremony is headed – but if they do stay together another week, at least Cam and Jules have something to talk about.
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Australian Women's WeeklyYesterday 10:05am