House Rules

House Rules' Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen's best burns

This judge doesn't mince his words.

By Alex Lilly
He's larger than life with his colourful suits and razor-sharp wit, so it's no wonder that House Rules judge Laurence Llewelyn Bowen is becoming a bit of an icon on Aussie TV screens.
The British interior designer who found fame in the 90s with his UK show Changing Rooms has never been one to shy away, and his critique on the hit home renovations show brings a whole new level to the meaning of sass.
We've rounded up his greatest one-liners, so you'd better grab some ice as these are some serious burns.

On Josh and Brandon's bedroom

This is a very old-looking cushion, seriously a granny died on that. And then this [hairy pillow] just looks like a run-over muppet, in fact there's still a hand inside there."

On David's DIY love shelf

"Someone took what was once a living tree of a majesty and of a beauty that we can only now weep over, and turned it into that. And then they painted it yellow."

On a front door that didn't take his fancy

"You know when you get a formerly glamorous older lady and her eyesight's quite gone so when she puts her lipstick on it's not quite there?"

On Leigh and Kristie's bathroom renovation

"Our eyes are given absolutely no peace."

On Josh and Brandon's hallway wallpaper

"This is just grandmother's knickers. I need a lie down now."

On Josh and Brandon's sitting room

"It's like a downward spiral. It's like a vortex into total, and utter, dull hideousness. It looks as if it's the corner of a little old peoples' home where little old people come to die."

On Toad and Mandy's handmade pieces

"I thought they were 'foot-made' they're so bad."

On Jess and Jared's entry

"Oh my god, someone has literally smeared Cher all over this hallway. It's absolutely what you would expect a rather elderly drag queen to be stepping through to deliver a belting Cher number."

On Leigh and Kristie's kitchen

"This is like someone being really crazy and creative being given the wrong medication."