How Farmer Dave’s coming out moment on Big Brother in 2006 changed the game for LGBTQIA+ Australians

When Dave Graham first entered the Big Brother house in 2006, the country didn’t realise it would lead to a monumental moment.

It was a different time back then for the LGBTQIA+ community. There was a lot of discrimination, homophobia, and marriage equality was yet to enter the zeitgeist.

Dave came out to his housemates after a week of challenges, and it changed Aussie television for the better.

When speaking with The Latch, he explained why he felt it was the right time to share with his housemates.

“Obviously, a lot of us got to know each other fairly well, and I think that everyone’s realised when they’re getting to know me that there’s things that they don’t know about me, and that’s true — there are things about me that you don’t know.”

“I kind of came into the house thinking that this bit you don’t know about me is quite small, but being in here has made me realise that it permeates every part of myself,” he continued.

He also found it “really, really hard” because he wasn’t “able to be honest” with his co-stars before he told them about his sexuality.

He initially hid his truth so he could be taken “at face value” before becoming “the token farmer, and the token gay guy.”

He told The Latch that the experience was worth it.

“I went on to create conversations and change in Australia about gay people being treated equally and without judgment,” he said.

“Back then, we were heavily discriminated against. It was normal to be in the closet for fear of violence and exclusion.”

While talking with Who Magazine, Dave highlighted just how different the nation was back then.

“The Australia we live in today is like a foreign country compared to the one of the early 2000s,” he said. “The acceptance of gay people, both legally and socially, is profound.”

Dave’s journey ended when he placed third, but his career on TV and radio kicked off, which saw him perform on Dancing With the Stars, and he was on the pilot episode of an Oprah Winfrey show.

The 42-year-old is also a successful dog trainer, and he has welcomed four children after donating his sperm to a lesbian couple and a single female friend.

His parenthood journey has affirmed his decision to come out during the 2000s.

He told Mamamia, “I don’t remember any words that were used, I don’t remember any reactions.

“To be able to watch it – and I think maybe this is being a dad now, or maybe this is working with young people – but I was just so proud. I just thought, ‘What an articulate young feller.'”

Over a decade later, Dave returned for Big Brother Royalty Vs New Contenders in a new era, and was eliminated after a few weeks in the house.

WATCH: Drew and Tully return to Big Brother in 2022.

And now, in December 2022, Dave has exclusively confirmed to Woman’s Day that he is engaged to boyfriend Shazli.

“I honestly thought I’d never find ‘the one’. I just didn’t think it was on the cards for me,” he says giddily to Woman’s Day.

Recalling the 2017 passing of Australia’s controversial marriage equality act, Dave muses, “I remember thinking, ‘Gosh, I wish I had someone there. Someone by my side’.

Now I do!” he says, perking up.

The beloved reality star met Pakistan-born Shazli at Sydney pub The Beresford in 2021.

“I thought I had hit the jackpot,” Dave says of the moment Shazli approached him. “

He was so polite and well mannered, not to mention good looking!”

It turns out the feeling was mutual – with Shazli admitting it was love at first sight.

“He was so free and happy,” he gushes.

“He’s the epitome of an Aussie – tall, tanned, blond and blokey. But you never usually meet those people in real life!”

Weeks after Dave was evicted from the Big Brother house, the two booked a spontaneous trip to Lord Howe Island, and it was there, at the summit of Mount Gower, that the farmer dropped to one knee.

“It was such a beautiful moment. I got down and sang a song

I had prepared. At the end, I asked him, ‘Would you join me and journey together through the rest of our lives and marry me?’

“He looked at me tearfully and I knew it was a yes!”

As most engaged couples know, the proposal is only the beginning, and the boys are now confronting the task of planning the “big outback wedding”, but without a lot of family help.

“Shazli came to Australia as a refugee, due to the persecution of gay people and family-forced marriages in his homeland. So, sadly, he won’t have any family at the wedding,” Dave says.

“But both of us have a lot of close friends and I have a massive family, so it’s going to be special.”

Dave adds that they intend to find a way to blend their two cultures in the ceremony and that his five “beautiful” donor kids will have roles too.

After the wedding, the pair have plans to start their own family. “I’ve got 17 embryos on ice ready to go,” Dave laughs.

“We both desperately want to be dads and start a family. We’ve just got to find the time!”