Family

Australia, meet Dani Guy: the young mother shutting down mum-shamers, one social-media troll at a time

“People need to be pro-mum – lift others up, empower one another. Not judge and give 'advice' when you weren't asked. And NEVER tell someone how they should be living their life or raising their kids.”

By Ellie McDonald
If you've ever come across Dani Guy's Instagram page, you'll know that she is one seriously candid Aussie mum.
Scrolling through her feed, you'll double-tap snaps of this mum-of-two (soon-to-be mum-of-three) cuddling her gorgeous sons as well as be fit-spired by her post-partum health and fitness journey.

On top of that, Dani, who hails from the New South Wales' Central Coast, often calls out those who make her, or other mums, feel guilty about their parenting methods. Like the time she uploaded an Instagram story of her hanging at home with her boys with the TV on.
"[The troll's] comment started as, 'You always have your TV on ALL day long with kids around, shame on you!'" Dani exclusively reveals to Now To Love.
"[Trolling like this] really grinds my gears!"
Not only that, but Dani confesses she's proud of the fact she's good "at speaking the truth" and "never holds back" – which is why she quickly stood up against an Instagrammer throwing shade at her for buying a bottle-mixing machine for her baby-on-the-way.
"People think they can sit behind their keyboard and know everything about someone just by watching a 10-second Instagram story that takes one second to take," Dani explains.
"How can they possibly know what a mum does for an ENTIRE day via Instagram?! Unless you're hiding in my cupboard, you don't!"
Here, Dani opens up about her latest dealings with a social-media troll, offering her top tips on how to shut out the haters.
Because, as mums, we all need to stick together and eliminate the shaming. Once and for all.

When I was mum-shamed…

It all started after I posted a picture to Instagram of a bottle-mixing machine I had purchased as I plan on bottle-feeding Baby Number 3 from the beginning. I was told, by a nurse mind you, that I should be breastfeeding first because it's far better for him.
Look, I was infuriated by this. Not particularly for my own sake (because I really couldn't care what people think about me) but I was pretty concerned that a nurse could just give their so called "advice" like this to a complete stranger, without knowing the entire story as to why I was choosing to bottle feed over breastfeed. If this was someone else, that mum could have been SO upset over this comment.

We, as mums, do the absolute best we can. Not everyone can breastfeed. Not every baby is the same. We all have our individual stories. Mum guilt is real, and I know when I first tried my absolute best to breastfeed both my boys, despite getting mastitis eight times between the two of them, I felt so guilty for putting them on formula, but it was honestly the best decision for my mental health, and for both the boys.
They were so much happier on a bottle, and still thrive, plus have GREAT immune systems. I think when it comes to a mum's choices, she shouldn't have to feel guilty or questioned about why she is doing it or told that is wrong as it's her child, and no-one else's business. People need to be pro-mum, lift others up, empower one another. Not judge, not give your "advice" when you weren't asked, and never tell someone how they should be living their life or raising their kids.

Why this needs to stop ASAP

Honestly, mum-shaming really grinds my gears. We do the best we can in life as people – and as mums. My kids do watch TV, and to be honest, it's pretty much always on as background noise, but that doesn't mean they sit there and watch it the entire day. They go off and play, come back watch the, go off and play again, while I lay on the couch and throw-up from pregnancy.
No-one has the right to judge ANYONE in what they choose to do in their life. It's none of their business and people need to start understanding that instead of giving their unwanted, judgmental opinion! I'm sick of it, so I'll happily call those kind of people out publicly if it helps other mums or people feel normal and have less mum guilt!

My message to those who shame…

People just need to think about what they say before they say it. And I know it's a very used old saying, but it will never lose its meaning: "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing".
It's not necessary to put your two cents in about someone else's life. You NEVER know what someone else is going through, if they are struggling with the decisions they make, if they are depressed, or if they have mum guilt. So… Say nothing. If it doesn't impact you directly, SAY NOTHING.
Less trolling, more love and support.
Better yet, NO trolling.

From one mum who’s been shamed to the rest of us...

My best advice to any mum, regardless if they have been shamed on not, is just do you! You are doing the best you can! You are a bloody super woman.
Parenting is HARD. Ignore the "advice", and make decisions for yourself and your kids. If you're happy and you're kids are happy, that is ALL THAT MATTERS.
No-one knows your child like you do, so never feel guilty about the choices you make to get through each day as a mum. You are a ROCKSTAR, never forget that.