1. Make a commitment
Literally say aloud and write down: ‘From now on, I’m going to be a calmer mum‘, or use your own wording.
2. Establish the rules
Write your rules including what you won’t permit yourself to do when you’re angry. Importantly, include what you can do instead – things to release your anger that won’t harm your children. Jumping rope or calling a friend – it’s whatever works for you.
3. Chill out more
Confront your tendency to rush about, fret or crowd your life. “Hurry is the enemy of love. Do what you can to make family life more fun, less rushed, and to chill out about the things that don’t really matter,” says Biddulph.
4. Put yourself first
Think about where in your life you feel deprived. What do you need more of? Less of? What are you yearning for? Make time for you.
5. Drop the idea of perfection
Don’t engage with the whip-cracking voices in your head. Strive to accept and expect imperfection in life.
6. Breathe through the tension
Decide to pay attention to your breath, then do it. Thoughts and feelings will try to distract you, but each time they do, notice them, then bring your attention back to your breath. Observe the flow in and out of the nostrils until you feel calmer.