I was with my girlfriend for five years and we split up for a while but then got back together again. Now I don’t know if it was the right thing to do.
Since we got back together again she has spent every minute she can with me. She won’t let me go to the pub for a drink by myself or go out for a drive with a friend or even go on the computer alone. She goes in the huff when I suggest when I mention going out on my own or her going out with her friends and me staying in by myself. I only get time alone when I am at work.
I really thought that we both wanted the relationship to work when we got back together and I was happy to try and keep her happy but this is getting ridiculous and I’m really starting to resent her.
I don’t want to hurt her but how do I get time to myself? I’m not up to anything I shouldn’t be and I want us to be happy but this isn’t the right way to live. None of my friends seem to have this problem and all the couples I know spend time apart.
I always found her a lot of fun when she was more sociable and I liked hearing the chat about what she got up to with her friends but now all she seems to talk about is us and how we have to make an effort to make this work. I don’t think we will be together for long if this doesn’t change.
You haven’t mentioned why you split up before and whether this type of behaviour was a problem, but if it wasn’t then something major must have happened for her to change so dramatically if she didn’t behave like that previously.
Start the conversation by emphasising that you want to stay together but don’t be accusing; instead of saying ‘you make me feel you don’t trust me…’ say ‘ I can’t help feeling that you don’t trust me.’
Most couples have separate lives as well as the time they spend together and you did in the past, so you need to find out what has changed and if there is a solution. Hopefully, this is something you can sort together, but if she cannot explain why this is happening or is unwilling to change then you have to decide whether or not you can live like this.
Picture posed by models.