Real Life

The real father of my child

I went back to work after six months of maternity leave, although the company I worked for had relocated to a suburb about a half hour's drive from home. I soon loved working there. There was a gym located next door to the new office and the majority of their staff were good-looking males. Most days I was the only one in the office as the other staff members were sales representatives and operations managers, which meant they were out on the road for most of the week. I soon made quite a few friends from the neighbouring companies and had them popping into the office for a quick chat. There was one particular guy from the gym, Gary, a partner there, who would come into the office for lengthy chats and cups of tea. We connected straight away and his looks would make me go weak. We soon started going to lunch together at the local shopping centre and he would openly express how he felt about me. At the time I was reluctant to tell him how I felt about him as this would be completely out of character for me. Gary would often say it was a pity we hadn't met a few years earlier, before I had got married. He said he would have loved to have married me. A year had passed and Gary and I had become close. My husband and I were always arguing, mostly due to all the stress of working full-time and trying to raise a child at the same time. When Gary expressed his feelings, I would drop hints that I felt the same way. I would go to bed at night thinking about him and wishing we could be together. In a way, it was good for my relationship with my husband because I would finish work in high spirits after being around Gary and not come home down and angry. I would hug my husband instead of arguing with him because I felt in love again ... just not with him. One day Gary asked if I wanted to go to the nearby national park for lunch and I jumped with excitement. We took my car as I had all the necessary blankets for a picnic in the boot. After all, going to the park for a picnic when you have a kid is common and I always keep blankets and pillows in the boot to save loading and unloading the car. With the picnic camp set up, we lay down and started chatting. We could talk for hours, although we always knew deep down what the other was really thinking about. Gary moved in closer and soon we were kissing. After lunch we packed up and headed for the office. The picnics became a ritual a least once a week and there was always lots of kissing and fondling ... until one day we went that one step further and made love. The national park was a perfect place for it — no cheap motels or car romps. It was romantic and as private as a public place could be. Gary left the gym after a couple of months to start up his own gym and I soon found out I was pregnant. Gary thought I was on the pill, although I had stopped taking it a couple of weeks earlier and didn't think the chances of getting pregnant were that high. I now have another little boy — my first son looks like me and my second son looks like Gary. He has his green eyes and his smile. My husband doesn't know that the child isn't his and I don't intend to tell him or Gary, as I don't want to hurt them or cause problems. I feel guilty and selfish for not telling them as I'm denying Gary a son and lying to my own husband and in the future I will be lying to my own child about who his real father is. I still keep in touch with Gary but don't get to see him any more. I recently found out his defacto just had a baby girl. I guess it's best things are the way they are now as everyone is happy. Even though I can't be with Gary, I always have a part of him with me. My husband and I have become closer since I don't get to see Gary every day, so my mind isn't constantly thinking about him — just his son.

read more from