Real Life

What do you tell your child when no one bothers to come to their party?

Donna Ireland, 33, from Cooloola Cove, Qld, tells Take 5's Mitchell Jordan how a viral Facebook post meant her autistic son finally got the party he'd always dreamed of.

Balloons and streamers decorated the house and the fridge was jam-packed with jelly cups and fruit skewers. I checked the time as the smell of my freshly baked sausage rolls wafted through the kitchen. It was 10am. Any minute now, I thought, smiling.

It was my son Tobi’s third birthday and I’d invited 10 of his little mates over for his first big party. Tobi has autism – a condition that means he sometimes has trouble interacting with others, but he loved playing games with the other kids at child care.

I couldn’t wait to see the smile on his face as we all sang Happy Birthday to him. Fifteen minutes passed and the doorbell hadn’t rung once. I felt a knot twist in my stomach. Something wasn’t right.

Tobi and his sister, Sophia, six, both looked at me expectantly. “Everyone will be here soon,” I said, trying to sound convincing. But as minutes dragged into hours, I was forced to accept the truth.

No-one wanted to celebrate Tobi’s birthday with him. My heart broke for my little boy. Doing my best to put on a brave face, I smiled at the kids. “Guess what?” I began. “We’re going to the movies! And after that, we’ll treat ourselves to McDonald’s for dinner.”

Tobi smiled weakly, but I could tell he was upset. How could people be so cruel? I wondered.

Over the next few days, we slowly worked our way through the fridge full of food. Every time I opened the door and saw the bright treats, I was reminded of what was meant to be the happiest day of Tobi’s life. When I bumped into the other parents, I was met with mumbled excuses.

“I’m so sorry, my kid was sick,” said one.

“Something came up,” shrugged another.

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I organised another party for Tobi the next year. But the same thing happened all over again.

We couldn’t get anyone to commit apart from family members.

By the time his seventh birthday rolled around, I couldn’t put Tobi through any more heartache. That’s it, I decided. No more parties. But Tobi was still dead-set on celebrating.

“Please Mum!” he begged. “Please let me have a party.”

So once again, I sent out invites, hoping that this year things would be different.

I received just two responses: one yes and one maybe.

Instead of being upset, my blood boiled. What had Tobi ever done to deserve this? Seeing red, I typed an angry rant on Facebook, venting my frustration at people’s lack of manners.

I’m sick of trying to organise play dates and parties for Tobi when no-one can be bothered turning up, I wrote.

Desperate to cheer me up, my friend Michelle put a post on Facebook in a group for Sunshine Coast locals.

I’d really like it if we could show this boy and his family that he does matter and that people do care about him, she wrote, urging people to send Tobi a birthday card.

To our surprise, her post went viral! Complete strangers started to comment, suggesting they could organise a party for Tobi.

We’ll come along and help him celebrate, they all agreed.

I was hesitant. Tobi had already had so many birthday disappointments.

“I don’t want to keep getting his hopes up,” I told Michelle.

But as the comments kept on coming, I relented.

Perhaps I could rely on the kindness of strangers, after all?

“Everything’s sorted,” Michelle said, smiling. “Just bring him to the showground.”

So on Tobi’s birthday, I dressed him up in his best clothes. “We’re going for a drive,” I said.

As we got closer to the showground, nerves churned in my tummy. What if no-one was there?

Those fears were quickly quashed when we turned the corner to see an enormous jumping castle and a fire truck!

“This party is all for you!” I told Tobi.

He got such a shock to see a crowd of 60 people waiting with balloons and presents.

“Wow!” he cried, running straight to the jumping castle.

Tears rolled down my face as I saw the effort everyone had gone to. There was a reptile show, a mountain of doughnuts… even the local police turned up with a gift. Tobi made a bunch of new friends and had the time of his life. It made me so happy the see the huge grin on his face. He was finally getting the big party he deserved.

Because of those strangers, my boy had the happiest birthday ever.

I can’t thank them enough for showing him just how special he is.

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