Real Life

"I thought there was something wrong with me": 5 women share their experiences of sex therapy

It could change your life.

By Holly Royce
"I thought there was something wrong with me": 5 women share their experiences of sex therapy

From staying in the moment to clearing the air, there are many things you can do to maintain a satisfying sex life or to help rekindle the passion in a sexless bedroom.

The idea of taking part in sex therapy is daunting and even down-right scary for the vast majority of us, but thankfully, five women have been brave enough to share their sex therapy experiences on Reddit, and every single one of them recommends the practice to others.

Who knows, maybe if they had a sex therapist on Married at First Sight, things may have ended up a little differently for our favorite couples.

Why not give it a try? It could change your life!

"We stopped going when we felt we were 'fixed' - really great experience."
"We stopped going when we felt we were 'fixed' - really great experience."

Here's what REALLY happens in sex therapy

I went to sex therapy for a period between 2014 and 2015. The therapist did two one on one sessions with each of us, and then we did a series of joint sessions with her for 4-5 months.

The one on one sessions were about getting to know us individually, understand what our issues were and how we had arrived at this point in the relationship where sex had become an issue.

The joint sessions were geared towards getting us to open up to each other emotionally, get more comfortable with each other, address some psychological barriers we had as a result of past experiences, expectations and medical conditions, alongside general communication and relationship issues.

We had 'homework' to do each time, which started off being sensual/non-sexual and then worked up to various sexual acts. In the sessions, we would talk about the homework, how it made us feel and any difficulties/barriers we had had.

We stopped going when we felt we were 'fixed' - really great experience.

"I would absolutely recommend it if you're considering going for any reason."
"I would absolutely recommend it if you're considering going for any reason."

Group therapy for women who have never had an orgasm

I went to a group for an-/pre-orgasmic women put on by a sex therapist and a nurse.

It was small - there were four of us. We met once a week for an entire summer and had weekly homework that usually involved some sort of masturbation.

The group was specifically for women who had never had an orgasm, period. The women in charge felt it was more important that we be able to get ourselves there and then introduce the potential added factor of a partner.

Only one of the four of us had an orgasm by the end of the group, but it put me in a much better headspace going into sexual relationships, and I had my first orgasm within the next six months. It taught me what I liked and what I didn't really, and most of all removed a number of the taboos beat into my head by a religious upbringing.

I would absolutely recommend it if you're considering going for any reason.

"If you're unsure, ask a professional and if it's suggested, make sure your partner joins you."
"If you're unsure, ask a professional and if it's suggested, make sure your partner joins you."

My GP was a sexual health therapist

My GP just happened to be a sexual health specialist. I was seeing a guy at the time who said there was something wrong with me because I had a low libido.

I had a few sessions with my Dr and discussed all sorts, like sexual health and preferences.

After a few sessions, my Dr said it seemed like I did have a low libido but he didn't think there was any reason to worry. He recommended I brought my partner into a session to discuss everything, but my partner refused.

Years later and I'm not with that guy, but I do see the same Dr I'm now married. My history came up during a consultation. My Dr asked me if I was still struggling with low libido and I said not at all.

Sex is great with my husband, and while my libido ebbs and flows, he understands, and it's not a big deal at all. My Dr looked at me and said he knew my 'problems' were because of my partner, but as he refused to come in, it wouldn't be professional to say as much.

If you're unsure, ask a professional and if it's suggested, make sure your partner joins you.

"Overall it did help, but I think finding the right partner and getting older/more comfortable with myself helped the most."
"Overall it did help, but I think finding the right partner and getting older/more comfortable with myself helped the most."

I couldn't have sex

I went to physical therapy to help me get more comfortable with sex. I've always had issues with things going in there: can't use tampons, OBGYN visits were a nightmare, and I could not have sex.

The only thing that I remember helping (besides talking to someone about it) is that she gave me this thing that was essentially a dildo (not really penis shaped but still phallic) and I was able to use that to get comfortable with things being in there.

I think she also gave me some passive stretches and other things to do, but I think mostly it was overcoming this mental barrier I had.

Overall it did help, but I think finding the right partner and getting older/more comfortable with myself helped the most.

"A great experience and I am extremely grateful I went."
"A great experience and I am extremely grateful I went."

I was embarrassed and thought there was something wrong with me

I went a few years ago because I just was never into sex with my boyfriend.

I thought there was something wrong with me.

There was a lot more involved in the sessions than just "sex". There was a lot of regular therapy topics in there too- personal history, family problems growing up, things that made you happy, things that brought you pain.

A lot of topics were evaluated. Obviously, in the end, they all coming back to sex. My therapist was actually one of the people who helped me realise that my boyfriend was abusive and how blind I had been to it.

A great experience and I am extremely grateful I went.