Zahraa Sahib, 18, from Cranbourne North VIC, shares her true life story.
Big brown eyes gazed up at me as I cradled my newborn niece Sanaya.
“I don’t want to let her go,” I gushed to her dad, my brother Sameer.
His wife Sofina, had just delivered her by caesarean and was in recovery.
I was 15 and fell in love with little Sanaya.
When Sofina was discharged, they came to live with us for a while.
Sameer worked long hours at his own furniture factory so Sofina, then 21, needed some support.
She was sore and tired.
“I’ll sleep in your room the first night and get up for the baby,” I offered.
We shared a bed and Sanaya slept in the cot beside us.
Sofina didn’t sleep a wink and was either feeding or holding the baby all night.
“She’s so attentive,” I said to my mum the next morning.
Maybe a bit too attentive we noticed – she rarely put her down.
When Sameer came in from work Sofina wouldn’t let him hold or kiss her.
“You’re dirty. Go and have a shower first,” she insisted.
Thankfully, I got plenty of cuddles and often changed or fed her to give Sofina a break.
She was a good baby. She only cried when she was hungry.
After six weeks they all moved to a house just behind ours, but I still saw Sanaya every day.
She was so happy, always smiling.
She was such a beautiful little girl.
Sadly, by the time Sanaya was seven months, Sameer and Sofina’s relationship hit the rocks.
Their marriage had been a traditional arranged one, and they started bickering a lot.
Sofina confided to me that she’d told Sameer if he wanted sex, he should go to a prostitute.
I was shocked. When they’d first married she’d been a quiet and humble woman, but something in her had changed.
They split and Sofina and Sanaya moved to the other side of Melbourne to live with relatives.
Sameer was heartbroken.
“She won’t let me see Sanaya,” he choked.
We didn’t see her for a while either, but, when she was 10 months, Mum and I missed her so much we went to visit.
She laughed and smiled when I picked her up for a cuddle.
“You’re such a big girl now,” I cooed, kissing her cheeks.
There were dark rings under her eyes, which I thought was strange, but she seemed happy.
She giggled and clapped her hands.
We arranged to visit again on Sanaya’s first birthday, but the day before, Sofina called and cancelled.
She said she’d moved and wasn’t allowed visitors where she was staying.
It was a lame excuse.
Me (right) with mum – we both adored Sanaya.
Three months later, she called.
“How’s Sanaya?” I gushed.
“Here, speak to her yourself,” she said.
She put Sanaya on the phone.
“Hi baby. Do you remember me?” I said happily.
She squealed and made baby noises.
Sofina came back on and asked me for my Apple ID password, which seemed odd.
I couldn’t remember it.
“Okay, I’ve got to go,” she said and hung up.
Soon after, she called Mum and told her she was thinking of getting back with Sameer.
Sameer was suspicious of her motives, suspecting she just wanted money.
A few days later, my grandad had come over to see Sameer and returned ashen.
“The police called while I was there. Sanaya’s missing,” he choked.
We listened with growing horror as he told us that Sofina had taken Sanaya to Heidelberg West Park in her stroller.
There, a barefoot African man smelling of alcohol had rushed up and snatched Sanaya.
Sofina had chased him but fell and twisted her ankle.
I rang Sofina, but she was with the police.
We switched on the TV news and saw a huge search was underway.
“Please let her be found safe,” I cried.
She was only fourteen months old.
Sofina (left) with me, Mum (back) and baby Sanaya
We sat by the phone and the TV all day.
Eventually, in the early hours we succumbed to sleep.
I was jolted awake by Granddad.
He’d been crying.
“The police called,” he said. “They’ve found Sanaya’s body, in a creek.”
I broke down.
“Why would he kill her?” I sobbed.
I prayed the police would catch him.
The next day, I turned on the news and Sanaya’s photo appeared next to the newsreader.
“The child’s mother has been charged with her murder…”
I screamed and Mum and Sameer came running in.
We all stared in silence as a reporter said Sofina had confessed to killing her daughter.
“How could she do this to my baby?” Sameer sobbed.
Arrangements were made for her little body to be taken to his house so our family could gather to pay respects.
My brother worked through the night to make a simple wooden coffin.
But next day, when Mum had viewed the body, she stopped me.
“I don’t think you should see her,” she said gently.
“I have to. I can’t accept it otherwise,” I said.
Sofina (left), me and mum.
Sanaya’s nose looked broken.
Her face was puffy and blue, and there were marks all over it.
“That’s not our baby!” I sobbed hysterically.
I cried so hard that I blacked out.
Over 500 people came to the funeral.
The whole community supported us.
We all went to every court hearing.
Sofina admitted killing Sanaya, but denied murder.
She claimed it was infanticide, which had a maximum sentence of just five years.
A psychiatrist explained that it applied when a mum killed her baby when the, “balance of her mind was disturbed”.
The defence lawyer claimed Sanaya had been crying a lot in the weeks before she’d died, and Sofina was convinced she was possessed.
She’d taken her to the park, played with her, then held her beautiful little face against her body until she stopped moving.
Afterwards, she dumped her in the creek like rubbish.
I looked at Sofina and she stared back at me.
There wasn’t a shred of remorse on her face.
But the judge believed she had a mental disorder.
She’d already served over a year on remand so she was just given a 12-month community corrections order.
She was free to go.
None of us could believe what was happening. She’d killed her baby with her bare hands and now she was free.
We are all still reeling with grief and at the injustice of it.
I’ll never forget Sanaya and the love I felt as those big brown eyes stared up at me when I first held her.
It haunts me. I just hope it haunts Sofina, too, because it’s the only real punishment she’s going to get.
The first time I saw those big brown eyes I was smitten.
None of us could believe what was happening.
She’d killed her baby with her bare hands and now she was free.
We are all still reeling with grief and at the injustice of it.
I’ll never forget Sanaya and the love I felt as those big brown eyes stared up at me when I first held her.
It haunts me.
I just hope it haunts Sofina, too, because it’s the only real punishment she’s going to get.
