It all started three years ago when I was 18. Our church hired a brand new minister. Let's call him Adam. When I first met him, I wanted our old minister back. Adam was distant, cold-hearted and ugly. At least that's what I thought.
Over the next two years, we never spoke. We saw each other every Sunday, but I made it a point to stay away from him. It continued like that until early this year.
I was at church on a Saturday rehearsing for one of the many church plays I'm in. There were a lot of people there, plus Adam. We were running through my first scene when I messed up and swore loudly. He started to laugh. I couldn't help but notice what an infectious laugh he had.
After that day, he was suddenly gorgeous to me. And funny, smart and warm. But now that I had these new feelings, I still couldn't manage to talk to him. His very presence made me nervous.
My mother had always told him what an avid writer and reader I was. So about two months ago he asked if I wanted to look over some of his sermons for the next few weeks. I said okay, while secretly dying inside.
After church one Sunday we went over his sermons and then chatted for almost an hour. He told me he was busy all week, but would like to get together the next Saturday to discuss more about his upcoming sermons. I said sure and that I would meet him at the church around one on Saturday afternoon.
On Saturday, we chatted again in his office, until he offered to take me for a coffee. I agreed and we drove to the coffee shop a few blocks away. I was ridiculously nervous and made even more nervous by the way he was acting. He seemed a little awkward and I wasn't sure if that was just the way he was or if it was because of me in particular.
At the shop, we chatted about everyday things, which was a first. He told me about his son and ex-wife and his love of sailing. We talked about my favourite TV shows. After that he drove me home. But before dropping me off, he asked if I could come into church a little early the next morning, so he could run through his sermon one more time in front of me. I didn't think anything of it because he often did this with other people. So I agreed.
I took the bus that morning at eight and waited for about 10 minutes before he arrived and let me in. We talked for about 20 minutes on his office sofa, before it started.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked. I shook my head no. He smiled, I smiled and in a moment we were kissing. We broke apart within seconds, for what I thought would be him apologising, but instead he got up and locked his door. And we proceeded to make love on his sofa. It was weird. We did this for about half an hour, until after nine.
I got dressed and walked out of his office as if nothing had happened. Minutes later people started to arrive and I pretended to be busy reading a book. He came out a half hour later to start the service in his robe and dishevelled hair. I couldn't sit through the service. I sat at the back and waited for my mum to take me home.
We have had sex again since then, but never at church. I spend weekends at his apartment and tell my mum I'm at a friend's. It's hard though, because on Sundays we have to act like we always did — distant. Some people have commented that we seem to spend a lot of time together and someone even saw me getting out of his car on a Sunday morning. I told them he'd seen me at the coffee place and picked me up. I don't think anyone suspects.