Reading a satirical article about politicians can really tickle you – I mean what’s funnier than pointing out sanctimonious, rich people’s flaws?
Except often, while you’re laughing at a satirical article, you realise it’s actually a straight news piece, and suddenly it’s not funny anymore and you’ve curled up into a foetal position sobbing for our future.
Like last night on Sky News when Crossbencher MP Bob Katter accused homosexuals of stealing “the most beautiful word in the English language” – gay.
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Katter was furious that back in his day, gay meant happy and now those bloody homosexuals and lesbians have “taken” it and made it a lot more fabulous.
Thankfully, the English language has never stolen words from other languages, or he'd look like a right tosser...
“I have a very clear idea of what is going on here: the homosexuals in Australia, they took the word gay,” Mr Katter told Sky News last night.
“It has a particular meaning to me because I got 84 per cent in English, in matriculation, which was a very, very high mark indeed.”
Remember that kid at university who’d bring up their entrance score three years later? This is like that; except it was 50 years ago and he didn’t even get an A.
He said his university-entrance exam involved the text, Rape of the Lock, had a line “then Belinda smiled and all the world was gay”.
“It just conjured up a beautiful image, it was the most beautiful word in the English language, and [homosexuals] said, ‘oh God we will take that word and we will have it as ours’,” Mr Katter said.
Ironically, the poem in question is a 'mock-heroic', which means it satirises a minor incident by comparing it to the epic world of the gods.
That's such a Trump-level of irony that I can barely breathe.
Bob added: “‘Oh they’ve got this thing called marriage, the other mob, we will take that too’. Well what else are they going to take? Are they going to take our freedom to say we don’t approve of what you are doing?”
And just like that, yet another straight, rich, white male has decided in this debate (which has labelled gay people mentally ill and abusive to their children), that he is the vulnerable victim.