Spending time with loved ones at Christmas is priceless. If you live far away from your family, it can make coming back together all the more special. A 2025 YouGov study found that 88 per cent of Australians use family gatherings as opportunities to talk to and check in on the wellbeing of older relatives. So, if it’s been a while since you last saw them, you may notice signs that could signal the start of them needing more help.
Mable, in collaboration with Clinical Psychologist Melissa Levi, have created this guide on what to look out for when celebrating with your loved ones.
Checklist of what to look out for in your parents
Rather than focusing on single moments, Levi suggests being guided by patterns across your loved one’s daily life. Of course, this can be more difficult when only visiting for the holiday season, so let Mable’s Early Warning Signs Checklist guide you. And be sure to look out for the slightly more overt signs, such as a decline in mobility, an increased need to rest and loss of memory.
Levi lets us know that other things to look out for include subtle personality changes (think: a calm parent becoming more irritable), changes in judgement, including risky decision making that is out of character. These small clues can add up. Elderly parents still want to protect their children, so they’ll try to hide the fact that daily life is getting harder for them.
Importance of family check-ins during the holidays
Getting the opportunity to check in with your ageing loved ones during the holiday season can allow you to see where they’re at, and also help you navigate your feelings around their possible decline.
It’s completely normal to feel upset when confronted with your loved one’s ageing. Once you realise they need help, you’re likely to feel grief, mixed with responsibility as well as fear of the unknown.
To manage how you deal with this, Levi encourages you to do three main things. Firstly, name what you’re feeling. Doing so will reduce its power. Secondly, share how you’re feeling with one safe person who will be there for you. And finally, anchor yourself in the small steps.
Once you’ve worked on getting yourself into a calmer headspace, you can then decide on the next steps with your parents. There are three main factors to look out for when deciding on getting your parents in-home care.
- Safety: Are they at risk of falling, not taking their medication or driving
- Stress: Is their living situation creating unnecessary worry or arguments?
- Stability: Is their usual home routine starting to slip?
If you can relate to two or more, Levi suggests that it may be time to explore in-home support. You could find support immediately with Mable and start slowly, with a few hours a week of general help, then build up over time as everyone adjusts.
How to check in with your parents
Levi wants you to know that while these conversations aren’t always easy, you don’t have to go through them alone. Together with Mable, she has formulated four simple approaches to having the aged care talk. Most importantly, she recommends starting the conversation with warmth, calmness, and respect.
But before you get to the point of introducing aged care, gently check in on your parents to see how they’re going. Levi suggests conversation starters such as:
“How are you feeling day to day? What’s been easier or harder lately?” This helps your parents to reflect honestly without feeling judged.
“Is there anything you wish you had a bit more help with?” Allows your parents to open up about any struggles they might be facing.
“What would make life feel a little easier or safer for you right now?” Shifting the focus from any issues they may be facing to helping them stay independent.
The holiday season offers a rare chance to slow down, reconnect and truly see how the people we love are coping. If you notice changes—big or small—resources like Mable’s Early Warning Signs Checklist can help guide your next steps with clarity and compassion. To learn more about the wellbeing of ageing loved ones, and to explore the findings of the 2025 YouGov study commissioned by Mable, visit Mable’s holiday check-in hub.
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