I lay dubious on a folding table, pants off including underwear as instructed.
I wanted to appear at calm, and entirely at ease with myself in the buff, but nude is one thing, laying spread eagle in front of a stranger for the first time is another. I pulled the modesty towel over my lower half and sighed nervously.
There was a knock at the door.
"Yep, come in," I said through gritted teeth.
It's a bit of a strange thing to admit, but I was about to have my first ever bikini wax, a little later than most at the age of almost 30.
I'm sure friends reading this right now will be in shock, mainly because I have lied about having had copious bikini waxes since I was about 17-years-old.
Sorry ladies, I just wanted to be cool. I can honestly say that there was not a single cool thing about the experience except my waxer and the salon I went to Beauty on Park Street. Clean, friendly and patient - those people are Saints to put up with all my questions about the treatment.
I decided to fulfil this late in life 'first' purely for the sake of this article. Also, I have since learnt that there is a difference between a bikini wax and getting a brazillian wax. It's a difference I'll never forget about because I booked in for a brazilian.
Here are some things I learnt:
Getting a bikini wax is bloody painful
Apparently, your first wax will always hurt more, but anyone who tries to tell you the experience is pain-free is a sadist. Getting a four-hour tattoo is way less painful than getting a bikini wax, in my opinion.
They remove every hair in a Brazillian. EVERY HAIR
They waxed my bum. I don't know why I was surprised, but I was.
It doesn't feel natural to have a stranger pouring hot wax around your labia
Everyone says you feel completely at ease after just a few minutes laying half-naked with your legs together in butterfly pose. As warm and quick as my waxer was, I can't say I felt "comfortable", but you're not going there for comfort, are you?
It hurts afterwards
My underwear was itchy and uncomfortable for at least 24 hours. The entire area stung into the night even a little bit the next day. After the first time, it's standard you'll get some kind light, reddish rash, which I also experienced, YAY ME!
Honestly, I see no upside to the process of waxing at all. Shaving has always been just as efficient and far less painful, so I shall be stick to that in future, thank you very much.
My waxer explained that I'm lucky as I had hardly any hair, but a lot of people don't have a choice.
Maybe it gets better over time, but I don't intend to try again and find out.
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