Sex & Relationships

Back into the nest: Women who live with their in-laws

The number of adults moving back in to their family homes is on the rise, as younger people struggle with the costs of living. Zoe Arnold speaks to two women who have moved back to the family nest.

The number of adults moving back in to their family homes is on the rise, as younger people struggle with the costs of living. Zoe Arnold speaks to two women who have moved back to the family nest.

It’s not really part of the great Australian dream: grow up, travel the world, get a qualification and settle down … with your folks.

But according to the Bureau of Statistics, it is part of a growing trend – children moving back to their family home, often with their own partners and kids in tow.

At last count, around 29 per cent of young adults (those between 18-34 years old) lived with one or both of their parents, up from 21 per cent in 1976.

For Christina, an Occupational Therapist with two young boys, moving in with her father-in-law was a decision made after her mother-in-law suddenly died.

“She died very quickly and unexpectedly, while she was still in her late 40s,” Christina says.

“My father-in-law asked if we would consider moving in to keep him company for a while. He has a large house, and by moving in together we could help him with the mortgage and bills as well as give him support in such a sad time.”

Three years on, Christina admits the living arrangement has both up and down sides.

“We only have a thin dividing wall between our living space and his, which is not entirely sound proof,” she says. “This is an issue if my husband and I are arguing … or the kids are being noisy!

“We have limited privacy – but on the plus side we live in an amazing location that we couldn’t afford on our own, and my kids have a very special bond with their granddad.”

For Emma, a part-time teacher, the bonus of beachside living also contributed to her family’s decision to build a duplex with her in-laws.

“My husband is an only child, who is close to his parents … so I guess I knew we would end up nearby.

“My husband’s also a surfer – and for as long as I’ve known him has wanted to live as close to the ocean as possible – but the way the housing market is going, we knew we couldn’t do it on our own.”

Emma, Paul and their two young daughters are midway through the build, which will leave them sharing a driveway and front yard with her husband’s parents.

She says they’ve set some ground rules that will hopefully make the move as seamless as possible.

“They paid for the land, and we are paying for the build,” Emma says. “Ongoing costs are completely separate. The land is in all of our names and although the duplex is connected, it is legally subdivided … so if it doesn’t work out, there is an escape clause!

“However, I am very much looking forward to having a new home, near the beach and I’m honoured that my in-laws were so keen to move next door to us.

“Family has always been my number one priority, so I am looking forward to cementing a future with constant love and support. They say it takes a village to raise a child, after all.”

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